Husband refuses to believe he is autistic

My DH is autistic-undiagnosed but he has many autistic idiosyncrasies. He is extremely clumsy-walks into walls, bangs his head on ceilings and beams, stubs his toes many times a week. Breaks glasses and mugs often. He had a terrible fear of doing wrong, letting people down and is always looking for the worst case scenario in every situation. He is unable to delegate, can’t stop doing something unless he finishes it and is hopeless at prioritising- often choosing to do something that is completely unnecessary when another task desperately needs doing. He adopts accents depending on where he is and who he is speaking to- he has a specific accent for when he is at work for example, one for when he’s speaking to workmen and another rather oddly for when he’s looking around houses( we recently moved). He hasn’t progressed at work ever since I’ve known him as he doesn’t put himself forward for fear of offending someone and being sacked. He sees everything from his point of view and from his here and now, my opinions rarely count  

Last week I had another conversation about how I find life with him very difficult because of all the above. He categorically refuses to believe there is anything wrong with his way of thinking saying that I am exaggerating and finding fault when there isn’t any.  What do I do??? I can’t carry on like this anymore? 

Parents
  • Hello Hermione,

    I do understand where you are coming from. However, you must try remember that the brain of an Autistic person is "Wired" differently to that of the average person. In other words, we have our own unique way of doing things. This is simply because it suits our psyche.

    My Mum has states to me that I do things that drive her up the wall i.e. going out at a certain time to complete errands. However, since my diagnosis, she has made allowances. She now understands why I do a lot of the things that I do i.e. If I was given a numbered list of tasks, I would go through it by number, regardless of whether or not the tasks were in order.

    I hope this helps.

Reply
  • Hello Hermione,

    I do understand where you are coming from. However, you must try remember that the brain of an Autistic person is "Wired" differently to that of the average person. In other words, we have our own unique way of doing things. This is simply because it suits our psyche.

    My Mum has states to me that I do things that drive her up the wall i.e. going out at a certain time to complete errands. However, since my diagnosis, she has made allowances. She now understands why I do a lot of the things that I do i.e. If I was given a numbered list of tasks, I would go through it by number, regardless of whether or not the tasks were in order.

    I hope this helps.

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