haven’t been able to remember what i’m doing, and when i’m doing something i find that i have actually not completed anything after awhile and what i’ve been moving from thing to thing without noticing. i can’t plan ahead as i can’t keep track of things such as time enough to know how it could work. i also get scared that if i plan ahead, i will go blank and my body and mind will shut down like it has been... i feel like i lose all control of myself that i have in these moments, and honestly i do not have a clue what it is that i’ve been doing. writing this, is extremely difficult as i’m trying to keep my thoughts in one place and get it out. also it’s good to speak with people who might get it.