Routine got messed up again so got so frustrated I drank alcohol whic I've quit a while back anyone else use alcohol or drugs because of change in routine?
Routine got messed up again so got so frustrated I drank alcohol whic I've quit a while back anyone else use alcohol or drugs because of change in routine?
For me alcohol is always an anxiolytic. When I was younger I used it as a social crutch, to 'loosen up' a bit and be more chatty. Now I can see I also use/used it to 'block out' when I've had a lot of stressful things happen. I'm better at realising when I'm 'high risk' for hitting the bottle but it's not 100% yet! Sometimes I still go for total wipeout, only a handful of times a year though!
I'd need to "slow my brain down", I was never into anything that made me feel "up". I now know that when my brain starts to gallop, it's stress. Plain and simple.
I always thought I was pretty self-aware, but something as plain and simple as that slipped me. I just saw it as being motivated and having energy, not stress. I got a lot done as a functioning addict, but I'm very lucky to have got away with as much physical health as I did.
I'm learning to balance life properly now. I've learned a lot about seeing the signs of stress the last few years. If I do end up having a drink as a one-off, that's all I see it as is a one-off. Don't want it becoming a bigger thing in me head than it is!
It seems to be ‘really’ common for autistic adults, especially those without diagnosis, to use alcohol or drugs to self medicate their autism symptoms. Not always ‘knowing’ when we are stressed doesn’t help either!
I used to have to drink and do drugs to function before the ride the last few years have taken me on. Everyday. I was using lots of benzodiazapines, and usually vodka, even at work for nearly 20 years. Used to smoke a lot of weed. Other stuff at times too.
Getting diagnosed made me realise that a lot of the factors that contributed to it were due to sensory discomfort and anxiety as parts of my autism. I had no clue of such things in relation to autism. I just thought I had psychological problems that were nothing to do with autism. One day I was taking the AQ test under suggestion of my GP. Three months later I was told I had autism, which I knew little about, then learned as I went from there.
I've found that occasionally I will get drunk to cope with such things since, which can lead to me using drugs while drunk. Going to noisy or unknown places being something. I don't get frustrated when I do, or even think "I've fell off the wagon". Seems a bit of a dangerous line of thinking, for me anyway. I just think "I drank that day, I'm not going to today. It's another day". It's worked for me.
The hangover or downer the next day can be a thing that causes introspection. I now know that it's just a part of the hangover or downer, not a real tangible part of my regular train of thought.
Don't get frustrated, it's not worth the stress!
I used to be a bad binge drinker when I was younger which got me into some tricky situations on more than one occasion. I eventually got my GP to put me on Dissulfarim ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disulfiram ) as a deterrent when I was in my mid 20's. It worked, for the year that I took it. But not once I stopped taking it. I eventually grew out of going out clubbing, and thus lost the location in which to binge drink, when I was 30. I still occasionally do now. I literally have no cut off point with alcohol, once I start I don't know when to stop. I know now that if I drink it's because I'm stressed about something, I may not realise that at the time and may only work it out in hindsight. But I'm definitely a reactive drinker. If you feel that you need help and support with your drinking then it may be wise to see your GP?
I was an alcoholic, I did that many times.
I've managed two alcohol free months this year, mostly by calling up the Samaritans when I was falling apart and about to pick up a drink again.
Some days I called them almost 10 times, it was so painful. It still seemed better than drinking alcohol.
I believe most people who drink alcohol or use drugs as a way of coping with problems are suffering from past trauma, so probably talking to someone is exactly what that person needs. Unfortunately it's hard getting a psychologist or counsellor sometimes with the waiting lists, so the Samaritans can be the most practical option.
I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon.
I don't use drugs, but I occasionally have a drink or two to help me calm down when I'm stressed (wouldn't recommend it as a strategy though). Is there anything else you could try to help you calm down when you're feeling stressed? Do you have any hobbies or special interests?
