Reminding myself that this isn't / wasn't trivial

I hope you’re ok? Figuring our pre-diagnosis lives out after we have a diagnosis can be ‘interesting’. Trying to figure out how to move forwards with this new information can be even more of a mine field! You need to know your limits and stick to them. 

I have to keep reminding myself that the diagnosis is true. One thing that helps is that the "medicine" is working - i.e. not pushing myself to do "people things" and watching my sensory environment, plus using some props for my memory and planning, is all turning down my stress levels marvelously. Any typical person following my regime would go crazy pretty quickly, but I love it. So it's a bit like when GPs sometimes say - take these antidepressants for a month; if you start to feel better, we're right to say that you're now depressed but on the other hand if nothing happens we need to look for something else!

I can be a bit like that too, arguing with myself that maybe the assessor made a mistake and I’m not really autistic. But then I keep noticing myself doing autistic things such as taking things literally (a lot), missing social cues where someone possibly wanted me to ask them about something (I really need to re read my social skills book, or doing reciprocal conversation textbook style (courtesy of said book) but being completely unaware that the questions that I’m asking, while in context, are a bit inappropriate and make the other person feel uncomfortable, until they tell me so! I am officially as mind blind as a lump of rock!

It’s interesting as I’ve noticed that on here and on Facebook a lot of autistic people say that they are happier/less stressed by not socialising. In fact someone earlier said that their ideal party would be one where everyone was ignoring them, so that they didn’t have to talk with anyone. It’s not me though, I’m a social butterfly stuck with an autistic brain! Hence why I do the social skills training, to learn the social skills so I can make more friends. I’ve always wanted to have friends, lots of friends! I can adapt this, in view of the autism diagnosis. For example, being friends with other autistic people or ‘autism friendly’ people is a lot easier for me. But I can’t change who I am. 

Re memory and planning I find that writing lists is a life saver and writing more complex tasks down in smaller steps helps to. Plus the reminders app on my iPhone. 

Hi - I hadn't really imagined that there might be separate assessments? I was assessed against DSM-V, and given a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder F84.0, scoring 12 on ADOS. My report says I might want to read about Asperger as it may be pertinent (as if I already hadn't! :-) ).

My assessments consisted of an interview supported by questionnaires (I think this was an ADI-R), and some months later an ADOS where I got my diagnosis.

I'm still waiting to read something that definitively and finally explains any subtypes within ASD & I think I might be waiting a long time!

I refer to myself simply as Autistic (and I feel justified in doing so with an ADOS score of 12) but I had no language delays as a child, and I've read that this has been considered to indicate Asperger's rather than "classic" Autism - but under DSM-V these qualitative differences don't exist. Clear as mud hey?

Hi..

Was your assessment for Autism or Aspergers? sorry to ask..but  quite curious!

At least I finally can have an avatar XD

Yeah I just did the obvious thing and googled it. I promise I have never seen that before in my life it just sounded like a nice name!

amazon.co.uk

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sally-Seahorse-Animal-Stories-Book-ebook/dp/B01GQKA4VW/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=sally+the+seahorse&qid=1568761656&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Wait what??? Where did you get that?!?

Hehe! I love how the internet lets you play with identity. Though if it helps, I'm more honest here than I can be anywhere else, despite what name I might use. :)

omg  i just did ! what is wrong with you !

Please read my bio! XD

how dare you!  apparently you're not  a real seahorse! next you'll be saying you are not called Sally either!

aidie said:

where does one get Social Skills Training   ---- do not say in the pub lol

Basically, yes! Practise! Go out among people, learn and copy. Sit in a coffee shop and hide behind a book if need be, watch how people interact with one another. Take on a public-facing role, could you spare an afternoon a week to volunteer in a charity shop or something? My life is full-time exposure therapy, started when I'd convinced myself what I was fighting was just social anxiety (which led to a complete identity meltdown, and like I'm done with Christmas Cards ended up landing me here, a lot more aware what I'm actually dealing with). I know now that I need to get out of it, some days can be too tough, but I have learnt so much from throwing myself in at the deep end, scary as it was to begin with.

Oh.....yes I do enjoy it :-). 

I was replying to your reply to me

In fact someone earlier said that their ideal party would be one where everyone was ignoring them, so that they didn’t have to talk with anyone.

I've told people several times that there should be no stigma in drinking alone. Someone drinking alone is just an introvert having a party by themselves and loving it :-).

I can't tell what you're replying to :-)

thanks Kitsun 

If that's what you enjoy doing then keep right on doing it. Everyone is different and we all prefer different things.

I used 'improve your social skills' by Daniel Wendler, he has a website too, he's also Aspie!

Kitsune said:

In fact someone earlier said that their ideal party would be one where everyone was ignoring them, so that they didn’t have to talk with anyone.

I've told people several times that there should be no stigma in drinking alone. Someone drinking alone is just an introvert having a party by themselves and loving it :-).

I stumbled into "proper" social skills training at work almost by accident. One of the usual "development programmes" came around and everyone was sent on it - I made friends there, including with the head of HR. Then I got invited on coaching training, which I jumped on to as I'd read a lot about the theory of coaching, and that led to a fairly experimental course on Neuro-Linguistig Programming. I found it easy enough to do all of this "people stuff" because we were all willing participants and in my mind I was doing science :-). Unfortunately for me that lead me to think I was invincible and could lead teams and change the company - I found out the hard way that I couldn't (or I could to an extent, but only at the expense of autistic burnout!).

I stumbled into "proper" social skills training at work almost by accident. One of the usual "development programmes" came around and everyone was sent on it - I made friends there, including with the head of HR. Then I got invited on coaching training, which I jumped on to as I'd read a lot about the theory of coaching, and that led to a fairly experimental course on Neuro-Linguistig Programming. I found it easy enough to do all of this "people stuff" because we were all willing participants and in my mind I was doing science :-). Unfortunately for me that lead me to think I was invincible and could lead teams and change the company - I found out the hard way that I couldn't (or I could to an extent, but only at the expense of autistic burnout!).

I think A LOT of people are confused about the current assessment/diagnosis of ASD or Aspergers/Autism. Not everyone is up to date with the updated versions of both the ICD and DSM. Although to the best of my knowledge, the assessment process was the same prior to the changeover, it’s just that before you would have got a differential diagnosis whereas now you just get ASD.

That's what I thought. I'm so easily thrown by a question sometimes!

There aren't separate assessments. The assessment is for ASD. More and more assessment centres are switching over to the DSM-5 or the ICD-11 and giving a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder rather than a differential diagnosis of Aspergers/Autism. The DSM-5 has already replaced the DSM-4 and by 2022 the ICD-11 will have fully replaced the ICD-10 meaning that the only diagnosis available anywhere will be Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Hi - I hadn't really imagined that there might be separate assessments? I was assessed against DSM-V, and given a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder F84.0, scoring 12 on ADOS. My report says I might want to read about Asperger as it may be pertinent (as if I already hadn't! :-) ).

My assessments consisted of an interview supported by questionnaires (I think this was an ADI-R), and some months later an ADOS where I got my diagnosis.

I'm still waiting to read something that definitively and finally explains any subtypes within ASD & I think I might be waiting a long time!

I refer to myself simply as Autistic (and I feel justified in doing so with an ADOS score of 12) but I had no language delays as a child, and I've read that this has been considered to indicate Asperger's rather than "classic" Autism - but under DSM-V these qualitative differences don't exist. Clear as mud hey?

Hi..

Was your assessment for Autism or Aspergers? sorry to ask..but  quite curious!