Not connected to mum and dad

Hi there everybody ive just been diagnosed  2 months ago with moderate to severe asd and i feel so stuck with what to talk about. My mother asks me how i am and i tell the truth im overwelmed with the world etc. It seems to set her off on the defence.  She hasnt been  supportive of the diagnosis  and i feel resentment  building. I have my wife and 2 kids 6 and 1 but my household so noisy i have regular meltdowns, i walk around with massive headphones all day at home which are really uncomftable. When my mum and dad come around i feel this horrible negative energy all of a sudden(i can feel their emotions) which makes me on edge.6 people  in my house at 1 time makes me on edge it feels so hard to deal with. Cant actually be bothered with this as it all drains me. I dont know how to communicate this. Nice to be part of this community to offload.x

  • Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. I can relate, I was diagnosed two years ago and my mother hasn't read a single resource on autism or tried to understand what it's like for me by asking questions etc. This is despite everyone agreeing that at least 2 out of her 3 children are autistic and seeing me go through a really rocky time MH wise before my diagnosis.

    I don't think my mum really knows how to love and as such her response to situations will always upset me and I see us having less and less contact until we stop having anything to do with each other. She rarely contacts me now, which is why I'm happy for things to fizzle out naturally. I do feel sad about how things are but believe it will be easier when contact stops rather than constantly being disappointed. Plus, I don't believe in keeping in touch with people simply because you're related if they don't bring anything positive to your life. 

    In regards to having children, I gave birth on Wednesday so am new to this. My little one is still in the hospital but I've come home for a few hours on day release. It feels amazing! A couple of times I've felt as though I should feel guilty as this is what society expects but I'm not like the majority of society, I need this time alone time to recharge and to be able to be a good mum, so I'm embracing it. I've had a nap, a little boogie and am now cooking a healthy meal before I return shortly.

    It doesn't sound like your planning any time into your day/week to meet your needs and self-care is crucial to good well-being whether your ND or NT. For example, I'm hypersensitive to noise, therefore, when I became pregnant I started saving to be able to send my little one to nursery two mornings a week from six weeks old as i'm likely to suffer MH issues without the sensory break. If you can't cope being in the house all the time what can you do to remove yourself from the situation? For example, would an evening run or walk provide you with enough space?

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