Hi. I was diagnosed ASD in June. I’m a 40 year old divorced single mother of three. Eldest has ADHD/ and oppositional defiant disorder. ( also suspect ASD) my youngest son is definitely on the spectrum and on the list to be seen (he’s 6 told the wait is 18 months here in North Wales)
The positive side of being diagnosed is I can stop blaming myself for failing at almost everything inc careers, education and relationships.
The negative side is I wish I’d got diagnosed while I was young as I’ve gone through hell with depression and anxiety and alcohol.
There are times in my house that I just want an hour of no noise. I feel it all building up, too many different sounds. The children wanting different things from me. It’s overwhelming. I struggle with concentration and can only seem to do one thing at a time. I sometimes feel I can’t breath like I want to run into a field in the middle of no where and be alone. I try not to think about all this as it would make me feel stuck in a whole trying to get out. The future again seems overwhelming. I’m trying to stay in the ‘now’
I love my children very much and feel guilty that I feel like I want to escape sometimes!
I don’t want to socialise yet admire and envy people who do and sometimes feel left out and lonely. Hate school runs, too many people, too much noise , too much going on.
I feel tired, old. I’ve put on lots of weight and feel at my worst! I don’t seem to be able to care for myself and can’t remember the last thing I bought for myself.
Im just hoping things get a little easier. More manageable. I need to be more organised for sure and struggle to keep to rotas.
Im not sure what help is available if anyone knows. ( north Wales)
Thanks
