Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi.
I have been looking for a girlfriend for some time now.
I'm a mechanic and there are absolutely no girls were I work. There are no girls in my social circle either.
I try to strike up conversations with girls I meet but none of them seem to interested in talking to me.
anyone got any suggestions?
Hi George.
Are there any Meet Up groups in your area which you could join? Either for autistic adults, or based around something you find interesting or enjoy. There are Meet Up groups about all sorts of things - books, films, walking, nature, technology, history, sports, health, language learning, philosophy, day trips to interesting places - and a lot of them are free.
That way, you should be able to meet some women and also have the chance to talk to them, as you will already have one thing in common (the topic or purpose of the group) which you could strike up a natural conversation about.
Anyway, you can search Meet Up by geographical area, so you'll be able to see all the different groups which are local to you and whether there are any you would like to join.
Yes - I recommend https://www.meetup.com/ too - great way of meeting people and once they get to know you, you'll soon see who would like to see more of you (although meetup is NOT a dating site - it's a social enabler).
I go along to coffee meets, bowling, dinners, pub nights, nerdy museum visits etc. well worth joining.
Thanks for including the link! And I nearly mentioned that it's not a dating site.
I guess the other point about it is, even if you don't meet anyone to date there, you will hopefully make some new friends and acquaintances over time, and at some point you may be able to meet someone through one of them. I think having a smaller social circle than your average NT (which I think is fairly common for us) can mean that we naturally encounter fewer new people in our everyday lives too, which reduces the odds of meeting a potential partner.
Yes - 1:1 - you never really know who you're talking to. Another reason to go out in a group meetup.
I would always tell someone I already know (friend, family member, close colleague) if I was going to meet either a stranger or someone I had only been in touch with online, even if we'd been messaging/emailing for a long time, as you can never be 100% sure who you are corresponding with online.
That's where meetup is good - you're all strangers together.
After all, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.
I guess, there is no perfect option but I would not go someone with strangers.
I tend to agree - the idea of having been in touch with someone online only for a very long time would make me more nervous about finally meeting them and about whether we would live up to each other's expectations of us.
As a clue, if I were looking to date, I'd join a meetup group for Salsa Dancing or something similar - there's many more single women than men at these groups so you're in demand as a partner! Most of the other blokes are pretty shabby so if you're even just presentable and only average, you're streets ahead of the competition...
The Salsa dancing groups often go out for meals and pub nights together so it's a great night out!
I disagree - it puts a lot of expectations on a final meet and it's all make-or-break. Group outings are much easier - the pressure is not all on you to perform - if you make a fool of yourself in a group it's easier to laugh-it-off. 1:1 is all or nothing.
Also group activities are better if the other person turns out to be a lemon - you don't waste an evening trying to escape, you just enjoy the activity with everyone else.
I think it is better to communicate only online for a long time before meeting someone.