Looking for a relationship

I'm a member of something called Outsiders Clubhouse on Facebook. If people want to google that and go about applying. I haven't met anyone as most of the meetups are in London but it's something that people can try.  Google it first though and see if it's for you.

Hi, I have been some topic as well, ive tried dating sites and kept being turn down. I don't know what else to try, I feel  I have limited my options? any advice?

The solution to this quandary seems to be to ask out women who are not in groups. If, for example, you're on the same train every day and a woman you regularly see seems attracted to you, you can talk to her, then ask her if she wants to do something some time. 

Thus avoiding any group dynamics. Though, of course, they will come into play later when, most likely, she will want you to meet her family and friends, and also she will probably observe how you interact with strangers during the date.

I went on a date with a woman once and she started talking (more or less flirting!) with a man on another table in the coffee shop!

NAS50301 said:

I find group socialising incredibly stressful due to filtering out noise, knowing when it’s ok for me talk etc. As such, Meet Up events don’t work for in regards to finding a partner. I much prefer the 1:1 interaction of online dating

I am the same.

I wonder if it is realistic for me to find someone nice and loving ever...

Me neither 

I never knew there was any

There are Autistic dating sites? Woooow...

I find group socialising incredibly stressful due to filtering out noise, knowing when it’s ok for me talk etc. As such, Meet Up events don’t work for in regards to finding a partner. I much prefer the 1:1 interaction of online dating and met my husband through Bumble.

I liked the man to make the first move re arranging a date. I also expected them to ask me to meet f2f within a couple of days of messaging as this demonstrated that they were keen and serious about starting a relationship. Plus, it enabled both of us to move on quickly if there was no spark in real life. 

Just go on Tinder 

Yes - 1:1 - you never really know who you're talking to.     Another reason to go out in a group meetup.

I would always tell someone I already know (friend, family member, close colleague) if I was going to meet either a stranger or someone I had only been in touch with online, even if we'd been messaging/emailing for a long time, as you can never be 100% sure who you are corresponding with online.

That's where meetup is good - you're all strangers together.

After all, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.

I guess, there is no perfect option but I would not go someone with strangers.

I tend to agree - the idea of having been in touch with someone online only for a very long time would make me more nervous about finally meeting them and about whether we would live up to each other's expectations of us.

As a clue, if I were looking to date, I'd join a meetup group for Salsa Dancing or something similar - there's many more single women than men at these groups so you're in demand as a partner!   Most of the other blokes are pretty shabby so if you're even just presentable and only average, you're streets ahead of the competition...

The Salsa dancing groups often go out for meals and pub nights together so it's a great night out!

I disagree - it puts a lot of expectations on a final meet and it's all make-or-break.    Group outings are much easier - the pressure is not all on you to perform - if you make a fool of yourself in a group it's easier to laugh-it-off.   1:1 is all or nothing.

Also group activities are better if the other person turns out to be a lemon - you don't waste an evening trying to escape, you just enjoy the activity with everyone else.

I think it is better to communicate only online for a long time before meeting someone.

Also - dating 1:1 is incredibly stressful!   Going out as a group is much more forgiving because if the conversation dies, someone else will normally jump in for you.    Once people get to know you, there's a better chance of a potential date being more successful because the ice is already broken - they already know you and the sort of things you like to do.

Thanks for including the link! And I nearly mentioned that it's not a dating site.

I guess the other point about it is, even if you don't meet anyone to date there, you will hopefully make some new friends and acquaintances over time, and at some point you may be able to meet someone through one of them. I think having a smaller social circle than your average NT (which I think is fairly common for us) can mean that we naturally encounter fewer new people in our everyday lives too, which reduces the odds of meeting a potential partner.

Yes - I recommend https://www.meetup.com/ too - great way of meeting people and once they get to know you, you'll soon see who would like to see more of you (although meetup is NOT a dating site - it's a social enabler).

I go along to coffee meets, bowling, dinners, pub nights, nerdy museum visits etc.  well worth joining.