Routines

So I hear us autistics love/need our routines but what if our routine is doing absolutely bare minimal. Well I think that’s what my routine is and if I have to do anything or am made/asked to do something I get very stand-off ish and rather unpleasant this then leads to arguments with the person asking, mainly my NT wife who is struggling to understand my condition and how it affects me(newly diagnosed) this results in me thinking im just a nasty lazy piece of work and a rubbish husband who not only doesn’t work but doesn’t even help at home. 

I know I shouldn’t but I still feel like there’s something wrong with me and I’m broken! I’m a worthless waste of oxygen! 

Parents
  • You are very eloquent I sympathise. I have been driving my son mad over the years asking him to do things. Your wife might be interested in the training available on the professional pages of this site, you have to pay but I found them useful. i descovered that repeating the question when you get no response is my problem, dont repeat myself any more! 

    Would Rotas help you? e.g son cooks a meal every other night now there is a rota on the kitchen wall, he knows which nights he is going to be asked. He uses a packet mix with very clear instructions, and also helps meal planning and shopping for the ingredients. He is beginning to enjoy cooking and has made some great meals, (and some not so good!)

    I think you sound like you really want to help round the house. Could you agree with your wife a rota for the things she would like you to do every week, so you are making a regular contribution? Having the rota written down helps me as I have memory like a seive and stops me asking the same thing again.

Reply
  • You are very eloquent I sympathise. I have been driving my son mad over the years asking him to do things. Your wife might be interested in the training available on the professional pages of this site, you have to pay but I found them useful. i descovered that repeating the question when you get no response is my problem, dont repeat myself any more! 

    Would Rotas help you? e.g son cooks a meal every other night now there is a rota on the kitchen wall, he knows which nights he is going to be asked. He uses a packet mix with very clear instructions, and also helps meal planning and shopping for the ingredients. He is beginning to enjoy cooking and has made some great meals, (and some not so good!)

    I think you sound like you really want to help round the house. Could you agree with your wife a rota for the things she would like you to do every week, so you are making a regular contribution? Having the rota written down helps me as I have memory like a seive and stops me asking the same thing again.

Children
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