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Getting stuck in ruts - seeing the future as bleak?

NAS63284

I have gained more than I have lost by having autism. But the one thing I really dislike about autism is the way I visualise the future. For some reason (I assume this is because of the autism?) - I look at the future in a very black & white way. As if the future will only be the same as now or worse than now. 

I never look at the future as an adventure that can be shaped in new and exciting ways. Even though I am a happy person and enjoy my life - I always look at the future in the way a person with depression might.

This is something I recognise in my Dad as well (who I suspect also has autism). If you are at prone at falling into ruts. Then you are also prone to falling into ruts when you look at the future. As such you find it hard to picture it as being something to get excited about.

I think part of this is related to the fact that I have no interest in romantic relationships. As such most of the "programming" we get from movies/TV/music is lost on me. On a subconcious level I think it is the feeling that you are going to fall in love with somebody amazing that excites "normal" people about the future. So in a sense my autism has made me old before my time.

I am sure this way of picturing the future is a fundamental part of autism. But I have never heard it discussed much. So I would love to hear from others who can relate to what I have written.

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  • I always feel like I restrict myself when I think about the future. I've always wanted to be an author, but I come up with reasons why it wouldn't work out... I think it could be a way of managing my own expectations because I don't want to disappoint myself. This way of thinking makes me sad though.

    Also, I often feel like I want to make changes (like starting my own business), but I'm so scared of the unknown that I just seem to stick to what I know, even though it doesn't excite me.

    I'm hoping I'll be able to push myself to take some risks someday - it'd be nice to do something I'm truly passionate about.

  • in reply to DuckBread

    This sounds similar to how my AS husband seems to think. I don't know why - or if it's a control thing and because the future is unknown you get stuck in a kind of paralysis where you can't make that leap for fear of it going horribly wrong. And yes it may go horribly wrong. You could write a book and no one might like it. On the other hand it could go fantastically well. You might unearth a real talent and people may love your writing. Thing is that you'll never know unless you do it.

    My husband has always liked the idea of getting a dog. At first I said no I didn't want a dog and he used to get annoyed with me because I didn't agree with him. Several years ago I changed my mind and said ok if you want a dog, then we'll get a dog. Do we have a dog? No! Because the minute I said let's get one, he came up with 101 reasons not to. What if he wasn't good with dogs? What if he couldn't train it? What if he got I'll and couldn't look after it? What if, what if what if? And it was all based on self doubt. I know my husband. He'd be great with a dog. But all he can see is what might go wrong.

    So the advice I'd give to you is the same as I say to my husband every time this comes up. 'For God's sake, just GET a bloody dog and stop over thinking it!'

    Except of course I wouldn't swear at you and the 'dog' would be your writing! If you've always wanted to be an author, just stop thinking and start writing. Decide that you'll write x number of words a day and do it. Youve nothing to lose. Yes, it may be complete rubbish, but on the other hand it might be brilliant. Don't think. Just do it.

  • in reply to Kazz55

    Thanks! I have decided I'm just going to give it a go and see what happens. Even if nobody ever reads it, at least I can enjoy writing it. I hope you manage to get the dog Slight smile

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