Exposure Anxiety: How complex are your social masks?

So no-one has completely different abilities?  like I had severe sound phobia as a child, we didn't know I had autism back in the 70's. When I quite by accident experienced temporary deafness and was given haring aids I found it such a relief to a) not been able to hear as much and b) be able to mute everything further by leaving hearing aids switched off (unless I wanted the walkman on via neck loop and T setting - known music was 'predictable sound' so ok).

Even after my hearing returned my outside mask/alter stayed functioning as a deaf person as I found it so much easier. It removed the expectation to speak to strangers in public like a queue in a bank in town I could sign or write things down (I had also had selective mutism as a child and a phobia of speaking at school/in public).  I still put them in to go out but leave them switched off to mute all environmental sounds otherwise I'd never be able to leave the house.

Many years later after the internet was invented I came across auditory processing disorder and realised that was my actual problem not that I couldn't hear sounds but I wasn't processing speech properly and couldn't separate it from background noise. (Eg I really struggle in families cars when they're taking me anywhere understanding them with the radio on and the car noises).

Now I see that hearing aids are being used in some cases to help kids deal with sound processing problems but they are just set up differently so the child can more easily separate speech from other noises. I also struggle with knowing which sounds are tinnitus and which are really in the environment for eg I'll wake up in middle of night convinced I can hear the boiler firing up form the bedroom, go down to the kitchen to see why the heating has come on and it hasn't , it's just the tinnitus noises. Thinking I can hear 'white noise' form the sky or DVD recorder is another common one (when they're switched off so can't be making a noise!)

I wish There'd been that understanding when I was young (I'm in my 50's now) so I didn't have to spend my whole life 'being someone else' just to 'fit in' and cope with having to go to school, college, work etc.  I've been able to take early retirement thank god due to physical issues so now all the expectations to be social and go to 'social gathering type places daily have been removed I feel I can be myself and moved out to the middle of nowhere to escape 'the rat race' and just 'be myself' for what's left of my life.

So no-one has completely different abilities?  like I had severe sound phobia as a child, we didn't know I had autism back in the 70's. When I quite by accident experienced temporary deafness and was given haring aids I found it such a relief to a) not been able to hear as much and b) be able to mute everything further by leaving hearing aids switched off (unless I wanted the walkman on via neck loop and T setting - known music was 'predictable sound' so ok).

Even after my hearing returned my outside mask/alter stayed functioning as a deaf person as I found it so much easier. It removed the expectation to speak to strangers in public like a queue in a bank in town I could sign or write things down (I had also had selective mutism as a child and a phobia of speaking at school/in public).  I still put them in to go out but leave them switched off to mute all environmental sounds otherwise I'd never be able to leave the house.

Many years later after the internet was invented I came across auditory processing disorder and realised that was my actual problem not that I couldn't hear sounds but I wasn't processing speech properly and couldn't separate it from background noise. (Eg I really struggle in families cars when they're taking me anywhere understanding them with the radio on and the car noises).

Now I see that hearing aids are being used in some cases to help kids deal with sound processing problems but they are just set up differently so the child can more easily separate speech from other noises. I also struggle with knowing which sounds are tinnitus and which are really in the environment for eg I'll wake up in middle of night convinced I can hear the boiler firing up form the bedroom, go down to the kitchen to see why the heating has come on and it hasn't , it's just the tinnitus noises. Thinking I can hear 'white noise' form the sky or DVD recorder is another common one (when they're switched off so can't be making a noise!)

I wish There'd been that understanding when I was young (I'm in my 50's now) so I didn't have to spend my whole life 'being someone else' just to 'fit in' and cope with having to go to school, college, work etc.  I've been able to take early retirement thank god due to physical issues so now all the expectations to be social and go to 'social gathering type places daily have been removed I feel I can be myself and moved out to the middle of nowhere to escape 'the rat race' and just 'be myself' for what's left of my life.