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More Autistic After Diagnosis...

NAS61891

Obviously I know I'm not; I'm the same person, but it seems more apparent. For example at work I've started using a stress ball; I'm more aware of taking in distracting noises and feeling unable to work when there's a lot of distraction.

I'd tailor my stims in public to, for example scribbling lines and lines of figure 8's or drawing squares, whereas now I'll openly rub my neck or forehead. I've also had two meltdowns at work, whereas previously I'd somehow manage to avoid this happening at work.

I don't know whether any of this is a self-fulfilling prophecy type thing, or whether it is just a greater self-awareness and me feeling more able to be myself, with the strength provided by the diagnosis.

Anyone else experienced this type of reaction?

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  • I feel like this too; like I've somehow become "more autistic" since my diagnosis around 6 weeks ago. I think for me it is mostly because a) I've been working so hard to cover this stuff up and fit in with everyone else for so long that I'm now letting that cover slip a bit more among the people who know the diagnosis and b) I think the assessment process itself draws your attention to all the bits that you maybe thought were "normal" or didn't realise you do, so that sort of brings them all to the surface and makes you more aware of them as well. I definitely think that's true for the sensory stuff. I knew I had really acute hearing and that noise bothered me, but I hadn't realised how heightened my sense of touch is for example, so now I know that it's not normal to feel pain from certain things I'm noticing more that I do and questioning "why me?". So yeh, letting the cover slip and being more aware of the symptoms having been through the assessment process is what's caused it for me I think. 

  • in reply to Floss

    Perfect. That's exactly how it is for me and what I'm saying/querying.

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