More Autistic After Diagnosis...

Obviously I know I'm not; I'm the same person, but it seems more apparent. For example at work I've started using a stress ball; I'm more aware of taking in distracting noises and feeling unable to work when there's a lot of distraction.

I'd tailor my stims in public to, for example scribbling lines and lines of figure 8's or drawing squares, whereas now I'll openly rub my neck or forehead. I've also had two meltdowns at work, whereas previously I'd somehow manage to avoid this happening at work.

I don't know whether any of this is a self-fulfilling prophecy type thing, or whether it is just a greater self-awareness and me feeling more able to be myself, with the strength provided by the diagnosis.

Anyone else experienced this type of reaction?

Parents
  • Absolutely. For me the absolute peak of it came as I became more and more certain of my autistic nature *before* official diagnosis, but it's still there in a slightly more subtle guise. It's like I'd discovered some old favourite clothes and spent a few months trying them on again, before putting them back in the wardrobe comfortable in the knowledge that they are there if I need them (not that I'm a big fan of fashion, but it's a good analogy so I couldn't resist it!).

    Another feeling that's in the mix somewhere now is anger; like I want to say to the world "See! It *was* unreasonable of you to expect me to do that, so you can all f*** off! And when you've finished doing that, you can come back here and f*** off again!". /rant

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  • Absolutely. For me the absolute peak of it came as I became more and more certain of my autistic nature *before* official diagnosis, but it's still there in a slightly more subtle guise. It's like I'd discovered some old favourite clothes and spent a few months trying them on again, before putting them back in the wardrobe comfortable in the knowledge that they are there if I need them (not that I'm a big fan of fashion, but it's a good analogy so I couldn't resist it!).

    Another feeling that's in the mix somewhere now is anger; like I want to say to the world "See! It *was* unreasonable of you to expect me to do that, so you can all f*** off! And when you've finished doing that, you can come back here and f*** off again!". /rant

Children