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Anyone else allow themselves to be picked on?

NAS63284

Hey everyone,

I am 37 and back in April I was diagnosed as being on the Autistic spectrum.

This is my first post here.

One thing I am trying to understand is why I let people pick on me?

My Dad bullies me and at work I let people get away with behavour towards me that I would challenge if I saw it directed at somebody else.

I am just trying to work out why I am so compliant? It is a good thing to be easy going. But I feel it allows me to be manipulated by people for their own ends. I guess this comes about as a consequence of not being used to standing up for yourself.

This is one of those traits I would usually just shrug my shoulders at and ignore. But about 3 weeks ago I had a mental breakdown that lasted five days. I also came close to having another flare-up in recent days. I had never had a break down before - so I found it to be a very unusual experience. And it is one thathas prompted me to analyze this part of my personality.

I was undergoing a lot of stress at work (my employer has launched a witch hunt to try and sack me),and the unprofessional behaviour directed at me by colleagues triggered a break down. My friends feel I should launch a formal complaine but I am friends with these people. My instinct is to shrug my shoulders since I don't understand the feeling of "being bullied". It is not an emotion that ever registers with me. Just as you would not feel "bullied" if a dog bit you or if a paving stone tripped you over.

I am a very opena nd easy going person. And I constantly make fun of myself and have a very strange and weird personality. So I guess I invite the perception that people can take liberties with me. And to be honest - I am cool with that.

That said - I am very confused about a lot of things at the moment. I am just curious if I am a victim of manipulation going back over my whole life (my Dad bullies me constantly - I sense he may be autistic as well). And if so - is this something that other people with autism have exeperience or recognise as a big part of their own lives?

I have no interest in getting my colleagues into trouble. I wish I could say the same about my employer - but they are out to get me. As such - I am just trying to use this experience to explore this idea and see if others have experienced similar things?

Thanks!

TomTomHarris

Parents

  • I almost feel like I could have written this.  During my assessment one of the things they asked me was something about people telling me to do things, and I think they were looking to see whether people take advantage of me or not.  I agree with the poster who replied saying about a time processing thing.  I've been in meetings at work and my boss has openly bullied or been incredibly rude to me, and I just sit there and take it.  It's like I hear it, and my mind somewhere in the distance says that's really unfair and not acceptable.  But no words come out.  When I say to my family later that day or to a friend what was said, and I can recall what was said word for word, they always say 'why didn't you say this or that or tell him to **** off!'  It's like I know I should reply, but I just shut down instead.  When I was at school and people picked on me I learned to just laugh at myself and agree with them, and they got bored.

Reply

  • I almost feel like I could have written this.  During my assessment one of the things they asked me was something about people telling me to do things, and I think they were looking to see whether people take advantage of me or not.  I agree with the poster who replied saying about a time processing thing.  I've been in meetings at work and my boss has openly bullied or been incredibly rude to me, and I just sit there and take it.  It's like I hear it, and my mind somewhere in the distance says that's really unfair and not acceptable.  But no words come out.  When I say to my family later that day or to a friend what was said, and I can recall what was said word for word, they always say 'why didn't you say this or that or tell him to **** off!'  It's like I know I should reply, but I just shut down instead.  When I was at school and people picked on me I learned to just laugh at myself and agree with them, and they got bored.

Children
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