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Anyone else allow themselves to be picked on?

NAS63284

Hey everyone,

I am 37 and back in April I was diagnosed as being on the Autistic spectrum.

This is my first post here.

One thing I am trying to understand is why I let people pick on me?

My Dad bullies me and at work I let people get away with behavour towards me that I would challenge if I saw it directed at somebody else.

I am just trying to work out why I am so compliant? It is a good thing to be easy going. But I feel it allows me to be manipulated by people for their own ends. I guess this comes about as a consequence of not being used to standing up for yourself.

This is one of those traits I would usually just shrug my shoulders at and ignore. But about 3 weeks ago I had a mental breakdown that lasted five days. I also came close to having another flare-up in recent days. I had never had a break down before - so I found it to be a very unusual experience. And it is one thathas prompted me to analyze this part of my personality.

I was undergoing a lot of stress at work (my employer has launched a witch hunt to try and sack me),and the unprofessional behaviour directed at me by colleagues triggered a break down. My friends feel I should launch a formal complaine but I am friends with these people. My instinct is to shrug my shoulders since I don't understand the feeling of "being bullied". It is not an emotion that ever registers with me. Just as you would not feel "bullied" if a dog bit you or if a paving stone tripped you over.

I am a very opena nd easy going person. And I constantly make fun of myself and have a very strange and weird personality. So I guess I invite the perception that people can take liberties with me. And to be honest - I am cool with that.

That said - I am very confused about a lot of things at the moment. I am just curious if I am a victim of manipulation going back over my whole life (my Dad bullies me constantly - I sense he may be autistic as well). And if so - is this something that other people with autism have exeperience or recognise as a big part of their own lives?

I have no interest in getting my colleagues into trouble. I wish I could say the same about my employer - but they are out to get me. As such - I am just trying to use this experience to explore this idea and see if others have experienced similar things?

Thanks!

TomTomHarris

Parents

  • I can certainly relate to this. At school my way of dealing with bullies was to be compliant and wait for them to get bored. At work I've not said "no" to things I should have, because I have a strong desire to be seen as a "good egg" and hate the conflict associated with debating the "no". I've also been taken advantage of by colleagues because of this and because I thought they were friends and I was living up to my part of the friendship "give and take", but now I question what friendship *is* and realise that my "give" was rarely repaid. I can relate to the "seen as easy going" bit and thinking that's a good thing.

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  • I can certainly relate to this. At school my way of dealing with bullies was to be compliant and wait for them to get bored. At work I've not said "no" to things I should have, because I have a strong desire to be seen as a "good egg" and hate the conflict associated with debating the "no". I've also been taken advantage of by colleagues because of this and because I thought they were friends and I was living up to my part of the friendship "give and take", but now I question what friendship *is* and realise that my "give" was rarely repaid. I can relate to the "seen as easy going" bit and thinking that's a good thing.

Children