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I Think My Boyfriend May Have High Functioning Autism

NAS63143

Let me add***** this is not the reason I suspect he is HFA, there’s a lot of other signs this is just what I’m currently struggling with 

My boyfriend and I have only been together for about 4 months and I suspect he has HFA. He definitely isn’t aware of it. It’s almost like he’s afraid to be vulnerable with me and any discussion about feelings and emotion is very hard for him. 

I never get reassurance about how he feels about me and that’s been so difficult. He shows his affection for me physically like holding my hand and kissing me often, being very aware of me, but never verbally. We’ve talked about it and he says he knows he doesn’t show emotion and it’s difficult for him to, but he’s working on it. And I don’t want to force him to do that if it makes him uncomfortable but I also need some kind of reassurance. 

Any kind of conversation about anything deeper than surface level is also hard. He doesn’t start the conversation, ever, and when I do, he closes it off if it’s a deeper subject. He does it unintentionally for sure. I told him he can be comfortable with me and he says he is he’s just not good at showing emotion or being vulnerable.

Hes a very introverted person, he’s shy in social situations, and I think he has a hard time understanding how I feel and knowing what I need. I personally have no idea what to do, how to bring it up to him, or anything. I just need him to be more attentive to me show more love pretty much. Needing advice. I feel like I’ve left out some detail too so if you have questions please ask away. 

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  • I go with Nope. Write it down, or have a conversation about feelings via text. I cannot discuss how I am feeling but I can write it down. I often let loose emotional issues via text message, and when things have been really bad I have written an essay. That's assuming this is his issue and he doesn't have some other issue...

    And on the showing love point, if you need to be shown love in a certain way, try telling him how. I am still waiting for my wife to write down a manual on how to be romantic that I have been asking for, for around 20 years now, so I can stop any comment about me not knowing how to be.

    I agree on the comments about how much you love someone. A purely subjective vague question. Try asking a black and white logical question, and you should get a straight forward answer. I will say this though, if he is like me, what he says will likely be very honest, which I think is a good thing.

    Also, you need to work through the issues of doubts, as it is very important to be yourselves, relaxed, open and honest with each other for it to work.

    Good luck.

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  • I go with Nope. Write it down, or have a conversation about feelings via text. I cannot discuss how I am feeling but I can write it down. I often let loose emotional issues via text message, and when things have been really bad I have written an essay. That's assuming this is his issue and he doesn't have some other issue...

    And on the showing love point, if you need to be shown love in a certain way, try telling him how. I am still waiting for my wife to write down a manual on how to be romantic that I have been asking for, for around 20 years now, so I can stop any comment about me not knowing how to be.

    I agree on the comments about how much you love someone. A purely subjective vague question. Try asking a black and white logical question, and you should get a straight forward answer. I will say this though, if he is like me, what he says will likely be very honest, which I think is a good thing.

    Also, you need to work through the issues of doubts, as it is very important to be yourselves, relaxed, open and honest with each other for it to work.

    Good luck.

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