• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 15594 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

I Think My Boyfriend May Have High Functioning Autism

NAS63143

Let me add***** this is not the reason I suspect he is HFA, there’s a lot of other signs this is just what I’m currently struggling with 

My boyfriend and I have only been together for about 4 months and I suspect he has HFA. He definitely isn’t aware of it. It’s almost like he’s afraid to be vulnerable with me and any discussion about feelings and emotion is very hard for him. 

I never get reassurance about how he feels about me and that’s been so difficult. He shows his affection for me physically like holding my hand and kissing me often, being very aware of me, but never verbally. We’ve talked about it and he says he knows he doesn’t show emotion and it’s difficult for him to, but he’s working on it. And I don’t want to force him to do that if it makes him uncomfortable but I also need some kind of reassurance. 

Any kind of conversation about anything deeper than surface level is also hard. He doesn’t start the conversation, ever, and when I do, he closes it off if it’s a deeper subject. He does it unintentionally for sure. I told him he can be comfortable with me and he says he is he’s just not good at showing emotion or being vulnerable.

Hes a very introverted person, he’s shy in social situations, and I think he has a hard time understanding how I feel and knowing what I need. I personally have no idea what to do, how to bring it up to him, or anything. I just need him to be more attentive to me show more love pretty much. Needing advice. I feel like I’ve left out some detail too so if you have questions please ask away. 

Parents

  • Any relationship has this element of fluidity, uncertainty, tension.


    As Plastic puts it: "How much do you love me?" - Errrrr. In any relationship the answer is being written on the flowing river. Eventually you may get even closer, get married, have kids, stay together until death, but who knows. None of you know the definite answer.

    I had quite a few relationships before marriage, but I don't remember men talking much about their feelings. Is it autistic me, or do men generally struggle with expressing emotion? There was this book 'Women are from Venus, men are from Mars' or something like that.

    Do women really like talking about feelings? I personally prefer doing something loving, rather than talking about feelings.. 

    A more actionable approach could be doing things together that make you closer, that are expressions of your connection. Talking about things that are meaningful for both of you.

    Are there conversation topics that he is more likely to engage in? Do you talk about your work or studies?  What resonates and touches both of you?

Reply

  • Any relationship has this element of fluidity, uncertainty, tension.


    As Plastic puts it: "How much do you love me?" - Errrrr. In any relationship the answer is being written on the flowing river. Eventually you may get even closer, get married, have kids, stay together until death, but who knows. None of you know the definite answer.

    I had quite a few relationships before marriage, but I don't remember men talking much about their feelings. Is it autistic me, or do men generally struggle with expressing emotion? There was this book 'Women are from Venus, men are from Mars' or something like that.

    Do women really like talking about feelings? I personally prefer doing something loving, rather than talking about feelings.. 

    A more actionable approach could be doing things together that make you closer, that are expressions of your connection. Talking about things that are meaningful for both of you.

    Are there conversation topics that he is more likely to engage in? Do you talk about your work or studies?  What resonates and touches both of you?

Children
No Data