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Fantasy worlds in my head

Deleted User

I've read that something common amongst those with AS is creating fantasies as this is better than real life.  On reflection I think I've always done this. I have a very wild, private imagination. It's only recently I have realised how and why I think about these things might be AS related. I don't really want to go into details about the current one, but a common theme seems to be that i find someone attractive and (usually when going to sleep) I make up stories in my head about us being together. Is this my way of dealing with situations? I've been with my partner a long time and have no intention of doing anything untoward. However, Ive had these fantasy worlds from a young age and I'm wondering if it's my way of negotiating the world as I used to (and still do) find attraction / relationships awkward. I've no idea what to say or how to flirt but in my fantasy world I can.  Similarly if I've had some beef with one of my friends, I will make up stories in my head of how I would react or what i or they would say, rather than dealing with the actual situation.

Sometimes these fantasy scenarios have influenced how I feel in real life when really, the situation has all been made up in my head but it spills over into the real world and has affected my feelings towards others.

Can anyone relate to this?

  • in reply to Chill_Boi

    What about if you haven't seen them for a year and a half?....I'm no near resolving it in my mind than when I last posted on this thread. I've since learnt it's anxiety that I can't resolve. So I go over and over as a way to try and give myself an answer. 

  • I imagine scenarios a lot with people I admire but not as much as I used to but it's not unusual. Usually it prolongs how much I miss the person I admire but at the same time tells me that I need to move on. 

  • in reply to aidie

    That would be great.

    Thank you

  • in reply to Lennie

    why not do the online tests ?

    I have links I can send u at your request

  • I havent been assesed for autism but I am pretty sure I am autistic.The more I look into it, the more evidence I find to confirm my suspicion. At night when I go to bed I will often sink into a fanmtasy. I often anticipate it and enjoy the wait.

    If in a void of time, such as a bus or train trip, I will switch to a fantasy on ocassion too but it's almost always at night and in bed. I would never disclose the details because it is always very personal but I know this is not what every one does. Yes, people may have fantasies but this is something permanent and continuous. It is something I have always done. It's a very specific trait and I knew I couldn't be alone even though I felt that it is not something neuro typical people do.

    I just googled to see if there was a correlation between this and autism and I was not suprised to find that there others looking to see if there is a link.

  • in reply to CallMeBob

    Yes I agree it's a way to deal with things but I do think it's a reptitive behaviour although as I don't know what goes on inside everyone else's head I don't know if it's excessive or not by comparison. I did sit on the sofa for nearly an hour the other day going over and over and over the same story which I'd made up. Trying to improve it or see which outcome was the best. Like I said in my original post, it can spill over into real life.

    I had a lovely upbringing and couldn't have asked for anything better.

    I think I need to read up about architypes. These things in my head aren't about being a victim or facing my fears. I wonder if some of it is a way of practising something in my head should that situation happen in real life even though it never will. For example I was going over what and how to say to a colleague on the last day before we finish for summer. Of course I didn't say any of it because when the situation presents itself it's not how it was in my head. 

  • There is a general answer and a more psychologically based answer. Generally, fantasy is a normal behaviour all people exhbit as a way to deal with negitive emotions or experiences. However, if this becomes a repetative behaviour it may indicate something more.

    Were you abused as a child, or witnessed trauma? Children who go through traumatic experiences at a young age, when their brain is still developing experience a condition known as disassociation, where they engage in fantasy as a way of escaping the reality of what happened (ego defense mechanism) -- when this condition is prolongued over time, especially if the abusive triggers are still in memory, or within the environment, this is known as PTS (post traumatic stress).

    Another way of seeing it, is that we (the ego in our mind) makes up stories as a form of stimming, to reduce anxiety and stress.

    Why do we do this? It is because we can control our thoughts. The act of having control over outcomes (our fantasies) reduces our anxiety about the situation, because we can change the story, whereas in real life we cannot change what has happened to us, only HOW we deal with these situations -- do we become the victim and wallow in pity, or do we face our fears? These are known as architypes, which our mind uses as a way to help form our identity which is a continual process of evolution.

  • Yes its a thing. I'm the same as yourself. I can, when I want to, run very detailed simulations of things inside my head, including game levels/environments. Good, bad, ugly, it all goes in my head as fuel for simulations.

  • I've also always done this. I didnt have a great childhood so used to pretend my real parents would come back for me one day and I'd fit in. Similar situation with friendship struggles, I'd imagine I had a twin who understood me. Now I dont understand how people act how they do and I dont like where I live so I imagine I'm living in the 1930s40s in a cottage, the neighbours are nice and theres no conflict. Usually I do this at night time though as I'm about to sleep or if I'm really upset

  • I absolutely relate to this 100% and I'm glad you posted this! Makes me feel less weird! This usually happens when I'm driving home from work, I start imaging things so vividly that I drive on auto pilot and times flies by. (Just like to point out that I'm not a risk at the wheel - I'm a safe driver!). I'm usually very socially able and it's normally about some emergency situation that I'm able to deal with and emerge as a 'hero'. In reality I'd flake and become overwhelmed by the situation more than likely and let somebody else handle it. Sometimes it involves real situations that become exaggerated and then do spill out into the real world and other times it's strangers. 

    On my drive home last night it was handling road rage. I saw a bloke from the car behind in traffic get out of his car and shout at somebody (he didn't approach them, he just stood at his door shouting - not sure what about). My brain then took me away on an adventure how I would go over and magically calm the situation. I'd come up with clever things to say to both of them and they'd be so understanding and grateful for my input.... lol... 

    Like you, I've done this my whole life. When I was a teenager these thoughts always used to be about painful break ups with my girlfriend at the time. Why would I do that to myself?!