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My mind is numb

Castle

I don't really know how to put into words right now how I am feeling? as the mind is quite numb and unable to process my thoughts at this moment in time. But I just recently had a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Condition of the Aspergers type.

I have kind of known after reading up on Aspergers that I may have had it but went through the thought process of days where I would think yes I am 90/10 and others where i would think I am 60/40 or 50/50. I hated the not knowing so I decided with all my mental struggles to get an assesment.

Well now I have been diagnosed all the worrying am I? aren't I? has been settled. I don't think it will sink in until a later date as I need time to digest information. 

Next things I need to think about are do I disclose it or keep it to myself. At the moment I'm thinking I will keep it to myself and only have a quiet word if and when needed.

Finally I just need to thank everyone on this website that has ever taken the time to reply to any of my messages because all the help and advice I ever recieved has been a massive help.

Parents

  • The self-doubt thing is a common theme. I'm currently going through a phase of feeling like my assessment will be a waste of their time and I'll be left with no answers... I'm on the waiting list at the moment and it's on my mind every single day. How will I come across? What if they don't believe me? What if they can't see through my mask? What if I freeze? But the biggest question is if I'm not diagnosed with Autism, what am I? I am definitely not NT.

    At the moment I feel in limbo. I can't share it with anybody because I'm not diagnosed and if I don't get a diagnosis I'll feel like a fraud. I'm going with the fact I've masked for 33 years, a few more months won't hurt...! I'll have an answer soon enough...

    I share your concerns re sharing. A diagnosis would make me feel comfortable doing things like disappearing at social gatherings (e.g. a family birthday) to get some space. I wouldn't need to disclose to anybody why I'm going for a breather but in my head I feel I won't have to worry about people thinking I'm rude or odd... I don't think I'd share it at work either but the main reason for that is because I'm changing back to a previous job so I can work from home again - the reasonable adjustments I would require come automatically with this role. 

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  • The self-doubt thing is a common theme. I'm currently going through a phase of feeling like my assessment will be a waste of their time and I'll be left with no answers... I'm on the waiting list at the moment and it's on my mind every single day. How will I come across? What if they don't believe me? What if they can't see through my mask? What if I freeze? But the biggest question is if I'm not diagnosed with Autism, what am I? I am definitely not NT.

    At the moment I feel in limbo. I can't share it with anybody because I'm not diagnosed and if I don't get a diagnosis I'll feel like a fraud. I'm going with the fact I've masked for 33 years, a few more months won't hurt...! I'll have an answer soon enough...

    I share your concerns re sharing. A diagnosis would make me feel comfortable doing things like disappearing at social gatherings (e.g. a family birthday) to get some space. I wouldn't need to disclose to anybody why I'm going for a breather but in my head I feel I won't have to worry about people thinking I'm rude or odd... I don't think I'd share it at work either but the main reason for that is because I'm changing back to a previous job so I can work from home again - the reasonable adjustments I would require come automatically with this role. 

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