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Relationships with others on the spectrum

Jessicaaaaa

Hi everyone, 

I am a 17 year old girl and I am struggling a bit with relationships with boys - I am sorry if this is a bit TMI but I wanted to see if anyone else felt the same way.

Unlike a lot of my peers, I haven't done anything with the opposite sex, which I myself am fine about as I have no real desire or interest to. But I feel like I am being left behind from everyone else. I have high functioning autism and I put on a very good act to blend in with everyone ( very tiring!).  Is it okay/ normal to feel this way? I feel so incredibly weird and although my mum, who I love dearly, is so lovely about it I don't think she really understands.

I have met a lovely boy, he is very respectful but he, like any normal teen boy, is wanting to have sex. I feel awful and don't want to upset/disappoint him but I honestly do not know what to do! I am quite happy and fine to be on my own and just get on with life as it is hard enough without these extra stresses!

Any advice/ comments would be really welcomed x

Parents

  • You might find this useful: https://www.asexuality.org

    It's called the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. It's not just a community, but also has a purpose of education. I went to one of their workshops they held at my university. Not wanting to have sex is perfectly normal, but both of you need to understand how each of you feel, and what might be the reason. They have many different descriptors of possible types of relationships, some might consider themselves bi-romantic asexual, for example. I think these days, people are more accepting of diversity, and even if you associate with one label now, it doesn't mean a few years later you might discover that you associate better with a different label. Try to do some research in this area, and talk it out with your boyfriend, and try to work out what suits you two best. Some people are happy continuing being friends, even though they might not want to continue a sexual relationship. 

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  • You might find this useful: https://www.asexuality.org

    It's called the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. It's not just a community, but also has a purpose of education. I went to one of their workshops they held at my university. Not wanting to have sex is perfectly normal, but both of you need to understand how each of you feel, and what might be the reason. They have many different descriptors of possible types of relationships, some might consider themselves bi-romantic asexual, for example. I think these days, people are more accepting of diversity, and even if you associate with one label now, it doesn't mean a few years later you might discover that you associate better with a different label. Try to do some research in this area, and talk it out with your boyfriend, and try to work out what suits you two best. Some people are happy continuing being friends, even though they might not want to continue a sexual relationship. 

Children
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