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Relationships with others on the spectrum

Jessicaaaaa

Hi everyone, 

I am a 17 year old girl and I am struggling a bit with relationships with boys - I am sorry if this is a bit TMI but I wanted to see if anyone else felt the same way.

Unlike a lot of my peers, I haven't done anything with the opposite sex, which I myself am fine about as I have no real desire or interest to. But I feel like I am being left behind from everyone else. I have high functioning autism and I put on a very good act to blend in with everyone ( very tiring!).  Is it okay/ normal to feel this way? I feel so incredibly weird and although my mum, who I love dearly, is so lovely about it I don't think she really understands.

I have met a lovely boy, he is very respectful but he, like any normal teen boy, is wanting to have sex. I feel awful and don't want to upset/disappoint him but I honestly do not know what to do! I am quite happy and fine to be on my own and just get on with life as it is hard enough without these extra stresses!

Any advice/ comments would be really welcomed x

Parents

  • I think the advice would be very similar to that which I would give my daughter or anyone NT. I think this is a life problem for everyone. Do what you are comfortable with and want to do. Do not do anything you are not comfortable with or do not want to do. I have navigated to and aligned with people that I feel comfortable with. I had a few relationships that just weren't right and didn't work out. And, yes, many young boys are only interested in that. It is not what makes a relationship, so look for people that you feel comfortable with, enjoy being with and feel like your soul mate. Fortunately after around 25 years on this planet I found my soul mate and it's been fab since then.

    Definitely never get pressured into anything and do not gauge this on what others are doing, ever... Life lesson... Be yourself as you have to judge yourself. Nobody else will judge what you have done at the end of it all except you. 

    Unfortunately most of the learning about what is the right person or not is purely down to your judgement, ASD or not...

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  • I think the advice would be very similar to that which I would give my daughter or anyone NT. I think this is a life problem for everyone. Do what you are comfortable with and want to do. Do not do anything you are not comfortable with or do not want to do. I have navigated to and aligned with people that I feel comfortable with. I had a few relationships that just weren't right and didn't work out. And, yes, many young boys are only interested in that. It is not what makes a relationship, so look for people that you feel comfortable with, enjoy being with and feel like your soul mate. Fortunately after around 25 years on this planet I found my soul mate and it's been fab since then.

    Definitely never get pressured into anything and do not gauge this on what others are doing, ever... Life lesson... Be yourself as you have to judge yourself. Nobody else will judge what you have done at the end of it all except you. 

    Unfortunately most of the learning about what is the right person or not is purely down to your judgement, ASD or not...

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