• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 1687 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Lonlier around others

raspberry

I went to the pub tonight for the first time in a year and I felt so boring, out of place and as if I've nothing to offer. I feel so different from everyone else

I know its the norm to go out on an evening and I'd love to be that person but it's just not me and I wish I hadn't tried as I feel rubbish about myself now Disappointed

  • I enjoy our local pub but only for the live bands. I love to stand at the back and just listen. A few times people say what's up. Once I had an awful man tell my husband I was boring and he asked how he puts up with me and i dont have friends. I dont have many friends but i know people and about 10 minutes later the 15 or so people that were meeting for my friends birthday showed up and that man who was being hurtful....he stood alone all night. I hate bullys. (When he said those remarks I suprised myself and came up with I'm just choosy who I speak to and your not my choice). I do find alot of people try and bully, belittle or use me. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not good in expressions, seem naive or what but that one event in the pub I felt I handled it well. 

    I've also found the pub I go to has a man who is a gardener and doesnt mind me chatting on about plants (my passion)

    Dont force yourself to socialise it's not all its cracked up to be

  • in reply to raspberry

    I understand - but I've found them all very welcoming and accepting.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Thank you for the idea but that situation would be very stressful for me. I appreciate we are all different! 

  • in reply to raspberry

    But when you turn up to a new event, odds are no-one knows anyone - you're all in the same boat - it's actually very low stress - you don't have to commit to anything and you can leave when you want.

  • in reply to Plastic

    The idea of a meet up with unknown people is terrifying! I just don't think socialing is for me!

  • Why not try Meetup.com and join some of the interesting groups near to you?    There's everything from book clubs, coffee meets, dinners, pub meets and specialist nerdy groups for any special interests you might have.   You just add yourself to whatever meetups that look interesting and you'll probably not be the only newcomer.   Try a few until you find where you fit.