Published on 12, July, 2020
So I'm 32 and a massive procrastinator, to the point where i literally do nothing, I'm not working and even though i'm married i'm living back with my parents(long story) this leads to a lot of problems, every one thinking and telling me i'm lazy, my physical heath is deteriorating as i don't do any exercise, don't eat properly and my personal hygiene is terrible but i can't help myself but to do nothing. I have no motivation to do anything even though i don't like being this way. I also fail at anything i put my mind too, which leads to another issue that is crippling, professionalism. If i really put my mind to something i have to get it perfect which i then neglect stuff even more and get exhausted and if i fail at said task i then beat myself up and convince myself that im stupid and useless which then makes me procrastinate. It's a violent circle that im ultimately stuck in. Im not even sure why i'm writing this post, like i don't know what im expecting to gain from writing it or what im really asking. What i will say is i hate and i mean i HATE! being called laz. God i wanna go out in the "real world" and be "normal", I want to be healthy and fit, I want to go out on days with the wife doing "normal" things like pubs, going out for food, walks, etc but i just can't. Now i feel like im rambling, don't even know what im writing but yea, i wrote it.
What are you doing while you are doing all this procrastinating? Playing video games? Watching tv? You're not doing nothing - you're just filling your time with the wrong things. You feel you should be doing things where you are judged as 'normal' by everyone around you.
What do you REALLY want to do that wouldn't be accepted by everyone else?
Yes, I’m normally on my pc playing games or watching twitch, that’s it, day in, day out. Or if I’m spending day with wife we watch tv/films even though she nags me to go out and I just don’t.
If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you be doing instead?
What are you not admitting to yourself?
The grinding to a halt is normally a symptom of being in the wrong life - so it's difficult to see a way forward when every path in front of you is something you don't want to be doing.
NTs live at an agreed level of BS/lies - let's say 40% lies - in their daily life - little lies like clocking out early, exaggerating their wealth, not doing their work properly, never finishing anything - it's all expected and normal.
Salesmen and lawyers operate at around 80% lies - but again, expected and accepted.
Aspies tend to be honest and methodical so we operate at close to zero lies/BS so we stand out as obviously 'different' in our values so we are treated with suspicion.
Inability to fight our corner via clear communication marks us down as a potential victim.
Social awkwardness separates us from the 'in' crowd.
Those 3 things make the work environment a living hell.