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Removing 'the mask'

NAS62726

As a female currently trying to cope with life I am wondering how others cope with their 'masking' of symptoms.

For me, I have found I immediately fake a smile and make an effort to have interesting conversation and must stay alert during conversation inorder to present as normal. I have found particular problems with work. I can easily get a job. I am good at interviews and can keep my performance going for upto a month on average but then I will slowly or suddenly start to decline. I miss deadlines, I feel exhausted, stressed, disorganised, unmotivated and my work performance just gets worse. I have never lasted more than 7 months in a job.

What does 'masking' look like to you? 

Parents

  • Well expressed and it is notable that the effort of masking eventually leads to the self being worn out and tangled. 

    Trying hard to assimilate, fit in etc can protect you from being singled out as "different" or "weird" - it al very much depends HOW MUCH of yourself your are masking in order to assess the possible impact outcome as well as the length of period you feel you NEED to mask and for what reason (i.e. what is at stake if you don't).

    A day at work is ok for me. I teach, so job is "performance" and imparting my specialist subject.  BUT...as soon as I get home i try to get space to take the mask off.  Very few have seen the mask off completely.

    "Masking is not letting any of this show. Masking is maintaining that conversation. Masking is appearing as normal as the next person, whatever normal may be. The cost is exhaustion. The ultimate cost of masking is burnout. Burnout is different from tired. It is being so tired you can’t move, you can’t think, so tired you can sleep for days, so tired there is nothing left."

    https://themighty.com/2018/11/long-term-impact-autistic-masking/

  • in reply to .

    FOOTNOTE: then sometimes come the self doubt?... what is ME and what is the MASK?

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