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Saying NO! - help required please

PureLight

Hi. I am a 36yr old female with AS and like a lot of people on the spectrum I hate being hugged or touched in anyway.

The problem I am having is how to convey this to other people. I don't no why but people just seem to hug me without asking. This can be anyone from relatives to total strangers and now I am angry and confused.

When anyone touches me or gets into my personal space I experience sensory overload and an overhwlming sense of fear.  Unfortunately, because I have difficulty in predicting what the other person will do, they often grab hold of me before I have had chance to stop them 

My gut reaction is to lash out at them as my reflexes are completely hyper but I know that this is not acceptable.  How do I let them know that I don't like to be touched and for those that do it without asking, how can I react to them without being aggressive.  I need to be able to stop them before the event happens but I don;t know how - short of wearing a "do not touch" sign on my head!

I am getting as I don't want to go out alone now for fear of getting into difficulties but staying in alll day makes me angry and frustrated.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I am just about at the end of my tether

Many thanks

Parents

  • I was very late diagnosed, so most of my life I didn't have an "excuse". I was pushed into the situations that I was wary of or fared badly in, and that's tended to be my approach. I'm not saying its the answer for everyone, my aspergers is mild, but it might still be a useful way of looking at things.

    I tend to confront problem situations, often not very successfully. The point I've generally assumed is that exposure makes it easier to cope when situations arise.

    Therefore going to noisy environments like a club with loud music and lots of people close together, I feel, has made me less reticent about the sort of sound and movement worlds I find uncomfortable.

    I think my life would have been far more restricted if I was always avoiding situations because they are uncomfortable.

    I often "research" uncomfortable situations by going into environments where, as a detached observer, I can study what it is I find uncomfortable, and try to find ways of making it easier.

    As I say, that's my solution in my circumstances. But I think there is a danger of avoiding too many situations in life because they might be painful.

    Maybe the way round cuddling is to take up amateur wrestling, but I haven't tried that as a way out.

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  • I was very late diagnosed, so most of my life I didn't have an "excuse". I was pushed into the situations that I was wary of or fared badly in, and that's tended to be my approach. I'm not saying its the answer for everyone, my aspergers is mild, but it might still be a useful way of looking at things.

    I tend to confront problem situations, often not very successfully. The point I've generally assumed is that exposure makes it easier to cope when situations arise.

    Therefore going to noisy environments like a club with loud music and lots of people close together, I feel, has made me less reticent about the sort of sound and movement worlds I find uncomfortable.

    I think my life would have been far more restricted if I was always avoiding situations because they are uncomfortable.

    I often "research" uncomfortable situations by going into environments where, as a detached observer, I can study what it is I find uncomfortable, and try to find ways of making it easier.

    As I say, that's my solution in my circumstances. But I think there is a danger of avoiding too many situations in life because they might be painful.

    Maybe the way round cuddling is to take up amateur wrestling, but I haven't tried that as a way out.

Children
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