• Replies 13 replies
  • Subscribers 79 subscribers
  • Views 3265 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Why do they do it?

leanne35

Hi All,

I have two boys aged 7 and 9 who are both on the autistic spectrum.  The eldest has a dual diagnosis of adhd too.  I'm not sure if I'm having a rant here or looking for answers but here goes!

I just don't get why they are so violent towards me.  I live on my own with them, although their dad is local and sees them often and has input with them.  They have a statement of special needs at school and cope ok there.  But my god, they hate me.  Over the years they have become so violent towards me, both verbally and physically.  The slightest hint they are not to get their own way and I'm threatened with physical violence. 

Today we were supposed to go to an event which we attend every year.  They knew we were going and they also knew what would be in store for them activity wise - so no surprises.  I gave them the countdown before we were due to leave so they knew when we were going.  I asked my eldest to go clean his teeth, steadfastly refused and left the house with his bike to find his friend.  Meanwhile the youngest is faffing on the Wii.  I had to go out and look for the eldest who argued back with me with a few choice names.  Managed to get him indoors and made him stay while I locked up, all the time being called names.  Then had to try to get the youngest off the wii, which to cut a long story short ended up with me being punched in the face and kicked in the stomach.  Needless to say, we didn't go and I have banned them from going outside as punishment.  Just a few moments ago I had to turn away on of their friends which earned me a kidney punch.

I have no idea how to stop this.  Sometimes I don't even see it coming.  I have lost friends through their behaviour as people can't tolerate being around them (and some judge too) and we are seldom invited to any family events.  They don't hit out at anyone else and certainly not their Dad.  Why are they doing this to me?  Its not as if I even smack them when they do this, would be counterproductive anyway.  Has anyone else had this issue?  I feel like I'm the only person going through this right now and think its my fault, I must have messed up somewhere along the line.

Parents

  • I totally relate to everything said above!!! My child is 10 and her meltdowns are awful....I constantly feel on edge waiting......I deal better with my daughter, but at times I feel suffocated with her constant negative chat and demands....I try to keep the peace, but at times it's overwhelming and I have to ask my husband to intervene which always means trouble!!! Things quickly escalate as she constantly wants me and when I remove myself or her from the situation everything blows up. Her need to be with me constantly and control everything is awful. Her vocalisation of negative thoughts or constant chatting makes me feel as if I'm going mad. I feel trapped! She wants to be with me all the time, but is often horrible to me and simple requests by me turn into world war 3. Even though I have a very loving husband, at times I feel this is only my problem. To shield my 7yr old and hubby I put up with rubbish and try and play down situations. When I'm sick she tries to haul me out my bed and when I lock my bedroom door to get changed she starts kicking it in..........so for others out there you are not alone. For some families it is a hidden illness that only close family sees. At school my child is an angel....a very quiet wee angel.......Her dual personality makes it hard for others to believe what I'm saying...:-]

Reply

  • I totally relate to everything said above!!! My child is 10 and her meltdowns are awful....I constantly feel on edge waiting......I deal better with my daughter, but at times I feel suffocated with her constant negative chat and demands....I try to keep the peace, but at times it's overwhelming and I have to ask my husband to intervene which always means trouble!!! Things quickly escalate as she constantly wants me and when I remove myself or her from the situation everything blows up. Her need to be with me constantly and control everything is awful. Her vocalisation of negative thoughts or constant chatting makes me feel as if I'm going mad. I feel trapped! She wants to be with me all the time, but is often horrible to me and simple requests by me turn into world war 3. Even though I have a very loving husband, at times I feel this is only my problem. To shield my 7yr old and hubby I put up with rubbish and try and play down situations. When I'm sick she tries to haul me out my bed and when I lock my bedroom door to get changed she starts kicking it in..........so for others out there you are not alone. For some families it is a hidden illness that only close family sees. At school my child is an angel....a very quiet wee angel.......Her dual personality makes it hard for others to believe what I'm saying...:-]

Children
No Data