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Concerned about my adult sons mental health

NAS62580

My son is 19 and has just finished college. 

Since then he stays in the house and admits he feels very lonely and sad. I am working but he rings me frequently and it is not always possible to answer the phone.

We have a dog who he said he likes to spend time with however he told me yesterday he had tried putting a peg on her tongue to see what happens he was very remorseful about this and said he did it because he was bored. This really worries me. 

He does not seem to have the motivation to do anything anymore. He has been assessed by a social worker and will be getting a personal budget and he has an organisation trying to get him some employment, but this seems to be moving very slowly.

I personally think he is heading for depression but I dont know if accessing a GP is the answer

I have suggested he start attending a group for adults with autism and he said I am forcing him to do this but he will go because he has to and only stay 5 minutes. 

As his mum I just want him to be happy and it is so difficult as loneliness makes him unhappy I need to work so cant be there all the time.

I know it is a struggle for him to socialise without my support and I  also I dont know what to do about the incident with the dog?

I would be grateful for any advice from someone who understands. Thankyou

  • Further about the dog all you can do is tell him that was wrong and say how would you feel if some one put a peg on your tongue you wouldn't like it would you! .

    We have the same problem as we have 3 cats whom like to be left alone and only picked up on their terms !.

    Our 23 yr old Aspie will keep picking one particular cat up and also have found him pressing on its chest obviously I stopped him ! But his reply (in a babyish tone said that he was not hurting her ! I said but you were pressing down on her body but I was not hurting her I said o yes you were because of the way she meowed  !. But we do have to keep an eye on him our bedroom is a respite for the cat! But it'as if she knows he has special needs as she has never scrammed him!. 

  • Hi I empathise with your challenges

    With your 19 yr old Son !.

    We have a 23 yr old aspie whom has similar

    Challenges he is in college doing a accountancy course but having problems with the present tutor

    His old tutor he got on well with and past his level 1&2 but for level 3 they changed the tutor and upon exam he failed he told us the questions were different to the way he was taught  and now having a breakdown over it we have taken him to our gp and she is writing to the college as they dont under stand the complexities of his condition . 

    We come up against he is over 18 and therefore we cannot make the decisions for him and as with most aspires they are inept at turning the tables around making it look as if you are the bad person ! There for I have learnt to take a step back and then try it from another angle! As he has to want to see the Gp for his depression it is quite a challenge when he says i will go to a meeting but only stay 5 minutes logic tells the neuro typical what the heck why go at all then !,but that is your sons logic and emotionally they function at a much younger age than their chronological age!. Yes try to get him to your gp  preferably a gp whom knows about Autism and A.S.

    Not knowing what part of the UK you are in as different areas are better facilities for treatment and therapeutic therapy  than others we are in South London, so although not perfect but better than say Wales .He needs to be with people whom encompass his interests /socialisation  is hard for him . But a lot of encouragement etc; Mencap /Mind. Do activities in Croydon and Sutton there is a group called inaspectrum!. .hope I have been of help to you?. Best wishes 

  • Does he have any hobbies or interests? He might be more up for attending a group based on his hobby or interest if you can find one locally than the group for adults with autism which may not be of interest to everyone.

    I am not a pet owner but it sounds potentially dangerous leaving him alone with the dog. If he can't be supervised then you may have to consider getting rid of the dog however reluctant you are to do this.