Hey guys I'm autistic :) Do you want to date NT's, Aspies or what? I only want to date NTs because I know how difficult it is to be autistic and I just want to be normal.
I also wonder what NTs think of Aspies and whether an NT would ever want to date me because of the autism
It's whole can of worms. There is a huge spectrum of NTs and another huge spectrum of NDs. I wouldn't even consider looking at the NT or ND part - it's the person I'd be looking at and if you like each other and get on, have shared interests and a shared idea of what you're both looking for in life.
Every person is different and they all have different tastes in what they seek in a partner. Have you looked at yourself and do you understand what you might bring to a relationship?
I haven't thought deeply about this. I may get some counselling.
Have a think about the qualities of the person you are looking for and have a good think about what you like to do, your hobbies and interests, what food you like, places you like to go, and everything that makes you, 'you' and how that could be attractive to someone.
An old saying is 'there is a lock for every key'. You just need to find that special person.
You are 'normal', thing is you're not 'typical' i.e. not in a majority.
But then neither are people with epilepsy, or diabetes...
Date, marry, be friends with people who can accept you for who you are.
That is all.
You're a girl right? Most men would want to date you! The problem I have is I don't know how to speak up. I have now been traumatized to the point that I am so hurt. Yeah, yeah. I'm a guy and I shouldn't have any feelings. But hurt I feel. It didn't happen overnight. It was over 10-15 years. Then one day I promised to God, and I don't care any more. Imagine the possibilities if any guy just said hi to you.
Plastic said:An old saying is 'there is a lock for every key'. You just need to find that special person.
I really like what you said. I have always believed this.
You're not the only autie I know who believes that being half of a couple with an NT will 'normalise' their life - and indeed it will in the sense of dragging you into 'all that' and making other NTs have to deal with you socially.
I have to say I find this unbearably stressful and suffocating. I've long since abandoned this strategy, I find it pretty undermining, stressful, and depressing to be in a relationship where I'm considered 'problematic', everything is my fault and someone in my home is almost always angry with me for reasons I can barely grasp.
I personally think that forming communities of affinity online or offline is a better way to deal with loneliness and a need for day to day support. Not that it's easy to do! I'd rather have my independence and agency and be able to shut my front door on NT world when I choose.
I couldn't agree more! Wise words, Plastic :)
Philip Wylie's book Very Late Diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome has a lot to say about partners. You may be younger (or not, you don't say) but it will still be relevant I think.