Sadly it has come to pass a social activity I am involved with. to have invested a great deal of time and energy has become threatened due to my disagreement with the leader of the activity group over one thing I have a great deal of difficulty dealing with, that thing being deceit.
Now it appears to myself no other or at least none others that are saying have a problem with that deceit, to wonder am I wrong in expecting better of one that purports to lead ?
For in it is the issue of trust where I find I just can't trust someone of whom has deceived me, not once, but twice.
Does anyone find that if you are honest when others are not you are seen as the one with the problem? I have never been sure how to deal with that, and would welcome suggestions.
People at work sometimes fill in forms to say what work they have done and they haven't really done it. For instance, one ticked the boxes about cleaning "room 13", and we haven't got a room 13 in the building. Previously, I have been encouraged by someone to say we completed tasks which we hadn't had time to do, to keep the management happy. If I don't do the same others take it as criticism, which it is not, but I don't want to do something I am personally unhappy about.
NTs live with an unspoken rule of an accepted level of lying/fraud. While they all accept the same level, it's business as usual.
When someone breaks the rule, they are the problem.
If you work at a zero level of lying, you have broken their accepted rule. You ARE the problem - to them.
I'd feel like you, really uncomfortable....
To Miss Starmie... I can identify with this as well (I am a Cynosure, You know). It seems to Me to be the case that in certain circumstances either one of two 'beliefs' are followed: 1 - A lie is always found out in the end... or 2 - It is okay to lie so long as it is not found out. (Excuse Me for adding next the following punctuation: !!!!!!!!!!)
But then there is a sort of Noble Middling, where the Lie is stated, yet then turned into Truth *Afterwards*. E.G. "Yes I have DONE this task" which is a lie... then do it the next day/hour, and so it is not a lie anymore.
And more, where a Lie is told, but then what is done afterwards is SO WONDERFULLY DONE... that Everyone absolutely loves that 'Done Thing', and so it completely effaces the fact that a Lie about it was told in the first place...
( ...Book, please! ) ;-)