Capable of jealousy, shame and insecurity?

 Various descriptions of ASD suggest people with autism are not capable of envy or jealousy, or understanding this response.  Having not fitted in and made many shameful mistakes socially (and publicly), I now try to avoid  people.  Ive become jealous and bitter towards new  people, and people from my past, They remind me of my shortcomings.  Starting a new job recently (open plan office, group bonding exercises etc) there are young confident people ( I know that this is not a bad thing to be, young and confident..) and I feel like I am talked to like a child. I’m not confidently taking responsibility and generally come across as a mature ‘waster’.  I have some handle on how I present myself but I feel very resentful, jealous, and ashamed.   This is nothing new.  I acknowledge this can only ‘eat you up on the inside’. It would be helpful to hear from anyone that has  experienced this and have found ways to manage feelings of inadequacy? Something positive?

these feelings, insecurity and jealousy,  are so bad  that I can’t visit my family in the town I grew up in as I’m scared I will meet people from my past, who have moved on in life(kids, partner security). 

I do identify with some traits of avoidant personality disorder but I believe this is a result of (indirect) bullying from a young age and just not fitting in. 

(Edited in an attempt to fix the grammar)

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