my daughter is in her early 30's and I am sure that she has ASD. As a child she seemed so normal and sociable but gradually as an adult she developed more and more traits of the autism that her brother has been diagnosed with. Recently she seems to have lost all the joy in her life -she goes to work during the week ms the rest of the time she lives in her room and does not interact with anyone. Over the years I have tried to help her and have persuades her to go to the GP but all they do is prescribe anti depressions and tell her to contact I talk. I fwel she needs more specialised help but don't know where to go or how to persuade her to seek that help. I feel at the end of my tether as she shows no signs of ever moving out or being independent and she seems to have become increasingly hostile towards me despite my efforts to help her.
Firstly, I agree with NAS62488 - please consider seeking support for yourself as it sounds like you're going through a really difficult time emotionally and, maybe, physically.
As to your daughter, you say that she seemed 'so normal' as a child. As someone with ASD myself I find that an odd thing to say. Do you feel that she's 'not normal' now, and by extension that your son is 'not normal'? Female autism and male autism can be (are) vastly different, so much so that research is now strongly indicating that there needs to be different forms of assessment. For example, whereas males may find socialising almost impossible, females may have developed skills to copy and learn 'socially acceptable' behaviour. You don't say how old your son is or whether he lives at home, but is it possible that she is of an age that she helped support him, or perhaps still does? If that is the case she might be just wanting to distance herself from stressful situations, or is too tired from working.
It seems that your daughter has agreed to visit GPs in the past and they feel that she is depressed and needs to talk about her feelings. Perhaps she is depressed - her behaviours certainly suggest that - and as it doesn't appear to be preventing her from going to work it sounds as if she is doing amazingly well. Anger can also be part of depression. You say she's increasingly hostile; you also say that you are at the end of your tether as 'she shows no signs of ever moving out or being independent'. Have you thought of family therapy? It may be a way to get her to talk to a specialist service without it appearing that it's 'all about her problems'. I only suggest this as a way to 'kick start' a better future for you all.
I truly hope you can find the support you need so that you can begin to rebuild your relationship with your family.