Not having a partner - and happy with it

No it's not neccesarily an autistic thing but not two people are alike. There is of course to differentiate between not wanting and finding it such hard work as to give up.

I'd like a partner but not kids which puts me on the backfoot as most women seem to want kids. I'd also need to find someone that is understanding that I love them even if I don't do all the big/small gestures. i am at the point were I think that i'm better off single than with a relatioship that i can't handle. I have a female friend with benefits (in between when she is in a relationship). While she drops me as soon as she meets someone she is soon back when it does not work out but then i start getting bored of her as she's not that bright and we have nothing in common other than enjoying each others company in bed. Which is what has started to make me think that I may as well stop bothering.

So yea, happy and unhappy without a partner if that answers your question.

I like the way @Eccentric put it

Eccentric1 said:

hen again, you never know, until you meet a special person, that hits you like an express train, breaks your barrier down and it is suddenly you are a teenager again.

photonic_electrons said:

I'd also need to find someone that is understanding that I love them even if I don't do all the big/small gestures

I think some of the messages from autism hate groups have done some damage that needs to be put right. Loving relationship cannot tolerate NT bias ithin, the expectation that the aspies goes all the way and meet them at NT terms in NT ways. This is not a reciprocal loving relationship. Relationships by definition is the place for to people to tune into each-other very close. That means knowing they are loved if they are and knowing how to notice and interpret your language. The way you express love, care and emotion. Once again it is a double empathy problem that needs to be bridged by the right person. It is possible.

photonic_electrons said:

i start getting bored of her as she's not that bright and we have nothing in common other than enjoying each others company in bed. Which is what has started to make me think that I may as well stop bothering.

But that particular lady is not the basis to generalise into a general rule to stop bothering. But of course it's boring to not have any interests or ability to discuss things of common interest. What would you do with a person like that? I truly good match would involve good intellectual match, outlook in life... being good friends as well as good lovers. For me it was criteria number one/or two.:)

I like the way @Eccentric put it

Eccentric1 said:

hen again, you never know, until you meet a special person, that hits you like an express train, breaks your barrier down and it is suddenly you are a teenager again.

photonic_electrons said:

I'd also need to find someone that is understanding that I love them even if I don't do all the big/small gestures

I think some of the messages from autism hate groups have done some damage that needs to be put right. Loving relationship cannot tolerate NT bias ithin, the expectation that the aspies goes all the way and meet them at NT terms in NT ways. This is not a reciprocal loving relationship. Relationships by definition is the place for to people to tune into each-other very close. That means knowing they are loved if they are and knowing how to notice and interpret your language. The way you express love, care and emotion. Once again it is a double empathy problem that needs to be bridged by the right person. It is possible.

photonic_electrons said:

i start getting bored of her as she's not that bright and we have nothing in common other than enjoying each others company in bed. Which is what has started to make me think that I may as well stop bothering.

But that particular lady is not the basis to generalise into a general rule to stop bothering. But of course it's boring to not have any interests or ability to discuss things of common interest. What would you do with a person like that? I truly good match would involve good intellectual match, outlook in life... being good friends as well as good lovers. For me it was criteria number one/or two.:)