Not having a partner - and happy with it

We aspies can be very difficult to live with and marriages often break down.

Time to burn the house down.

Eww!

Robots don't always do a good job.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeSyAOMx0ho

Sadly, I think that some men think that we’re still living in the 12th Centaury! Hmm housework robots! I like the sound of that idea!

I say your clutter, your mess  you clean it up, unless of course you are happy to be a door mat.

Oh yes, the clutter!! lol Why should us women always be the ones to clean up the clutter! FFS what century are we living in?

I say, your clutter your mess! You are so right. Gone are the days of the little woman doing all the cleaning cooking washing and, 'tea bringing', if a man wants that he can find himself a robot! lol

Honestly, I spend my life clearing up other people's clutter and mess! I never get bought a cup of tea either, not that I drink it mind, coffee is good though :-)

:) no one to bring a cup of tea, no one to clean your clutter ...

I'm married but I can see the benefits of being single. No one to make a mess, no one to clutter the place up, fabulous!

I like the way @Eccentric put it

Eccentric1 said:

hen again, you never know, until you meet a special person, that hits you like an express train, breaks your barrier down and it is suddenly you are a teenager again.

photonic_electrons said:

I'd also need to find someone that is understanding that I love them even if I don't do all the big/small gestures

I think some of the messages from autism hate groups have done some damage that needs to be put right. Loving relationship cannot tolerate NT bias ithin, the expectation that the aspies goes all the way and meet them at NT terms in NT ways. This is not a reciprocal loving relationship. Relationships by definition is the place for to people to tune into each-other very close. That means knowing they are loved if they are and knowing how to notice and interpret your language. The way you express love, care and emotion. Once again it is a double empathy problem that needs to be bridged by the right person. It is possible.

photonic_electrons said:

i start getting bored of her as she's not that bright and we have nothing in common other than enjoying each others company in bed. Which is what has started to make me think that I may as well stop bothering.

But that particular lady is not the basis to generalise into a general rule to stop bothering. But of course it's boring to not have any interests or ability to discuss things of common interest. What would you do with a person like that? I truly good match would involve good intellectual match, outlook in life... being good friends as well as good lovers. For me it was criteria number one/or two.:)

No it's not neccesarily an autistic thing but not two people are alike. There is of course to differentiate between not wanting and finding it such hard work as to give up.

I'd like a partner but not kids which puts me on the backfoot as most women seem to want kids. I'd also need to find someone that is understanding that I love them even if I don't do all the big/small gestures. i am at the point were I think that i'm better off single than with a relatioship that i can't handle. I have a female friend with benefits (in between when she is in a relationship). While she drops me as soon as she meets someone she is soon back when it does not work out but then i start getting bored of her as she's not that bright and we have nothing in common other than enjoying each others company in bed. Which is what has started to make me think that I may as well stop bothering.

So yea, happy and unhappy without a partner if that answers your question.

I socialise with a group of 40/50/60 year olds - I'm the only one in a relationship.  You are not abnormal.  Just enjoy doing what you like - if you meet someone, see what happens - but don't worry about it.

I don't think it's exclusive to AS. I've known "lifetime singles" who didn't appear to be autistic. It's becoming more common now as women don't need a husband to buy or rent a home, and with effective modern contraception the choice is also there not to have a family, which is also becoming more common. 

Your mother understandably has your interests at heart with her concerns that you might be lonely, but we're all different. If you're happy on your own there's nothing "odd" about it. People can lose partners as they get older, and families don't always get on, so having a partner and kids doesn't guarantee happiness in old age. I'm an older woman (although I do have a partner) and I spend hours reading, researching my interests and playing video games. If you get a bit lonely, there are plenty of ways to make friends - taking classes, joining clubs, going to Autism group meet-ups, volunteering with a local charity, etc. etc.. Do what makes you happy

I have been the same as you, together with a few of my cousins, and happy to remain single (Said single until I bloody well die for the past 30 years) with never being a long time and who knows what surprises are round the corner.  

Then again, you never know, until you meet a special person, that hits you like an express train, breaks your barrier down and it is suddenly you are a teenager again as has happened to me since April this year.  That person has shook my world up to the point I realise I have found my single days are over as THEY are the ONE.

There should be no pressure, except by association, with what is supposed to be the normal process of books/film/TV and historic love stories (hiding the same things that go on today as they have done for centuries).  

Since April this year I feel like a lottery winner, by chance meeting that special person and know they feel the same way about me.  So my friends and family are now happy that I have found that special person.