Exclusion caused by eating habits

I tried a cycling group last week with a temporary support worker I have and except for one other young man (I'm 32) everyone else there was a pensioner. After the ride in a cafe all the pensioners were eating slices of cake, biscuits and drinking cups of tea.

I'm gluten and dairy intolerant so there was nothing I could have in the cafe and my support worker kept asking me (about 10 times at least) if I was going to eat or drink something, enough to make it embarrassing and unpleasant.

Several of the pensioners commented on the fact I wasn't eating or drinking anything too but I knew the likelihood was if I told any of them about my immune system having problems that would be straying too far from the small talk and levity of the general conversation going on.

I've found with many British social events a tray of biscuits is put out and cups of tea offered. It makes me feel more like an outsider. I've also found if you ask for a herbal tea people form judgements about you (at least here in the North West of England) deciding that you're pretentious and unworthy of their down-to-earth charm.

Has anyone else discovered eating and drinking habits to be an unexpected barrier to social inclusion?

Parents
  • Don't read too much into it - they were trying to include you but accidentally hit all the wrong buttons.

    I have a very limited diet due to all sorts of health problems.   I'm up front about it and then everyone understands and it takes the pressure off.    Sometimes the social group I'm in have a coffee meetup and then go for a meal afterwards - I can't join them if they go for a curry but I'm ok with that - also, by the time they are wanting to go for food, I getting fatigued and it provides a good escape for me.

    My advice would be just tell them the minimum they need to know - 'Sorry guys, I have a health problem that means I can't have X or y'  

    It can be a conversation in its own right - most people have a health problem that limits their fun somehow.

Reply
  • Don't read too much into it - they were trying to include you but accidentally hit all the wrong buttons.

    I have a very limited diet due to all sorts of health problems.   I'm up front about it and then everyone understands and it takes the pressure off.    Sometimes the social group I'm in have a coffee meetup and then go for a meal afterwards - I can't join them if they go for a curry but I'm ok with that - also, by the time they are wanting to go for food, I getting fatigued and it provides a good escape for me.

    My advice would be just tell them the minimum they need to know - 'Sorry guys, I have a health problem that means I can't have X or y'  

    It can be a conversation in its own right - most people have a health problem that limits their fun somehow.

Children