Are you good at identifying emotions/feelings within yourself?

Hi I would like to add something else. Does anyone else need someone else's opinion to confirm their own feelings? It's like I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel or be, but then if I have guidance or direction off someone this helps me know what to do or how to feel.  Eg I've been off work with anxiety and didn't know if I should go back to work or not. It's taken about 4 other people to tell me I'm still not right and need to stay off.  Ive felt like I couldn't make this decision myself, and similarly when going off work I didn't know what to do.  I feel like a non AS or non alexithymic person would be able to understand this about themselves straightaway.  I had to ring my manager for an update last week and on the phone I was going "yeah I'm fine" cos I'd had 2 good days. When in realitythis is s long term thing im going through. I feel often like I can't see past whatever current mood or frame of mind I'm in.

Can anyone relate to any of this? Apologies if it's been mentioned before but the thread is long so I've not read everything.

Definitely.  However, i'm not sure it's always worked very well for me.  Yes, it has certainly validated my (sometimes hazy) sense of my own feelings, leading me to take appropriate action.  But I think that, as a child, i often looked to others' words and reactions as an indication of how I was supposed to feel in situations and how intensely i was supposed to feel it.  Then that reaction in me was somehow strengthened or given permission.  E.g I'd fall down and graze my knee, which hurt, but then i only started to cry once someone else said, "I'd be crying if that happened to me."   Or i'd feel mildly annoyed and someone would ask, "Aren't you angry?" prompting me to focus even more on the reasons I should be angry and then actually feel it too.  

i now sometimes have to pause and wonder whether my feelings are less real and less intense than they would otherwise be, because i've been behaving like that for years and it's merged into my masking.  I've only been diagnosed for about six months and am having a bit of trouble working out what's me and what isn't.  e.g. I recently got very finickity about something trivial and immediately had the thought, "Oh.  I think I'm being that friend I used to have at school right now."

This all makes me wonder not just about autism/alexythemia but about the extent to which feelings can be learnt, even though we think of them as somehow natural.  E.g. "This happened, so naturally I felt this." when actually there will be some intermediate stages in that process and, although it's happening quickly, it maybe isn't automatic.      

Definitely.  However, i'm not sure it's always worked very well for me.  Yes, it has certainly validated my (sometimes hazy) sense of my own feelings, leading me to take appropriate action.  But I think that, as a child, i often looked to others' words and reactions as an indication of how I was supposed to feel in situations and how intensely i was supposed to feel it.  Then that reaction in me was somehow strengthened or given permission.  E.g I'd fall down and graze my knee, which hurt, but then i only started to cry once someone else said, "I'd be crying if that happened to me."   Or i'd feel mildly annoyed and someone would ask, "Aren't you angry?" prompting me to focus even more on the reasons I should be angry and then actually feel it too.  

i now sometimes have to pause and wonder whether my feelings are less real and less intense than they would otherwise be, because i've been behaving like that for years and it's merged into my masking.  I've only been diagnosed for about six months and am having a bit of trouble working out what's me and what isn't.  e.g. I recently got very finickity about something trivial and immediately had the thought, "Oh.  I think I'm being that friend I used to have at school right now."

This all makes me wonder not just about autism/alexythemia but about the extent to which feelings can be learnt, even though we think of them as somehow natural.  E.g. "This happened, so naturally I felt this." when actually there will be some intermediate stages in that process and, although it's happening quickly, it maybe isn't automatic.      

My feelings are also often different to others and have different intensities for different things.

I may be really sad that a tv series has finished or character has died where if someone died in the same room as me I would have less of an emotional response (depending on the person)

Yes, plus the other thing i learnt, probably in the schoolyard, is that it very often isn't safe to reveal your true feelings.  Mine are often out of kilter with others' and can be more intense too.  I think this marks me as different and can make me vulnerable to bullying.  As with the workplace, I rapidly developed a habit of hiding any signs of what might be considered to be weakness.  Where was the real me supposed to go?

I have emotions triggered as well like at a funeral when I wasn’t crying I was just straight faced but then saw the sadness from my family and I instantly turned round and hugged my mum tightly as the face of others pushed me past my activation energy (in chemistry terms).

The worst I felt was when I was getting to grips I was autistic and I slumped into bad depression and self hatred but luckily that lasted about a week so no long term affects were caused. 

My actions have definitely been masked or manipulated to fit the outside world. It probably happened around the age of 12 so that I wasn’t picked on by kids at secondary school although some of the traits I can never mask like social anxiety and stimulation. The only times I am truly myself is when I’m around my friend with Aspergers and bipolar or just by myself.

Although my other friends know I’m different (autistic) I still mask it. This makes them think that it doesn’t effect me as much as it does. I think the more you hold it in the more it hurts inside which is why I like to be with my Bipolar friend or by myself.