I have a list of people who I have managed to upset and I still don't really understand why.
Two haven't spoken to me since October. One of these was someone I called my brother. He is not talking to me because I followed safeguarding protocol with his best friend and his best friend complained about me to him and now he has cut my whole family out of his life.
One I had a lovely afternoon with last week. I sent a text stating a fact and now she is really upset and sending me messages about how stressed and overwhelmed she is.
One is a mother of a child in my theatre group. I was ill so someone kindly took over rehearsal for me. She went out way to write notes so I felt obliged to send them out and this has upset her. I get what's app messages and then don't understand what they actually mean.
Then each of the situations goes around and around in my head and it doesn't get me anywhere as there don't appear to be any answers.
Why don't people come with rules that I can follow so that I could stop upsetting people without meaning to.
And why can't I switch off the spiralling thoughts in my head of what I did wrong and how I can fix it. Except I don't think I can fix it.
I spend so much of my life apologising.
