Why do people think it's OK to be autistic?

Thank you all for all your replies. The question of me becoming a mother is a difficult one - it's a conversation for another day really but I take all of your points. The last thing I would ever want is for my child to be hurt or damaged emotionally, so I know I've got to be careful. The men I sleep with are a different story - most of them aren't respectful of me, they're rough with me and they hurt me, and they just take what they want and leave, so I feel angry towards them, to be honest. It's hard to imagine them wanting to know their child - they don't seem to have a caring bone in their body. I know feelings go deeper than this, but they don't seem to have much regard for how I feel, so...it's all very complicated.

It's annoying because I know all the things about women presenting differently and therefore being more difficult to diagnose, but I still think of it as a man's condition and I feel the diagnosis is an assault on my femininity. I can't seem to change the way I feel. Sometimes I get even more triggered by the idea of the different female presentation - like, I know there's a special separate test for females they suspect are on the spectrum, but with me, they used a standard test, which is probably one they used for boys. I just break all over again when I think about that.

It was no too long ago that being intelligent was seen as being unfeminine as women were not supposed to be exposed to education involving literature, maths and science - all because boys and men were the ones who were educated and then went onto established roles in society.  Women had to be quiet, submissive and demure - they had to be good at sewing, the arts and possibly music if you were luckily enough to come from an upper class background.  If that was today's benchmark for feminine, would you be aiming for this?

I am by no means feminine in the traditional terms, but I certainly class myself as a woman and I am 100% certain of my gender, therefore I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.

I would just sense check where this benchmark of feminine you are aiming for has come from?  If it is so hard to achieve in your eyes, then is it realistic and is it really you?

Acceptance and self-care would be a good first step and then takes things from there.

It was no too long ago that being intelligent was seen as being unfeminine as women were not supposed to be exposed to education involving literature, maths and science - all because boys and men were the ones who were educated and then went onto established roles in society.  Women had to be quiet, submissive and demure - they had to be good at sewing, the arts and possibly music if you were luckily enough to come from an upper class background.  If that was today's benchmark for feminine, would you be aiming for this?

I am by no means feminine in the traditional terms, but I certainly class myself as a woman and I am 100% certain of my gender, therefore I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.

I would just sense check where this benchmark of feminine you are aiming for has come from?  If it is so hard to achieve in your eyes, then is it realistic and is it really you?

Acceptance and self-care would be a good first step and then takes things from there.