How anyone has constructively overcome their difficulties, due to autism or otherwise.

Nothing negatively personal, nothing attacking, no self indulgence please. Just what can help others. Thread can be locked if going wrong direction. Alice’s bequest. 

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  • I hope this doesn't come across as self indulgence, it is just some random thoughts on how I cope which may be of interest even if not much use!

    I find a lot of difficulties are caused by external circumstances which can cause frustration in being apparently unable to do anything about it.  While others are totally within our remit.  Everyone, autistic or not, can have difficulties and make mistakes.  It is part of being human.  How we deal with that is often different for an autistic person.

    I am very prone to churning things over in my mind, losing sleep and getting stressed.  But I try to be self aware, to formulate a solution in my thought processes.  There is a saying that a problem shared is a problem halved, and this never applies more than for me and by extrapolation it may help other people.  I am fortunate to have a support worker with whom I can discuss my problems.  She is far enough removed from me to not be someone who will say something that she thinks I want to hear.  And I have enough faith in her understanding of my problems to accept her counsel, although often there is much discussion.  She is really a support worker to help me at work, but she is able to help in the wider realm as well.

    A close friend may not be the best person to discuss problems with.  They may say what they think you want to hear for fear of losing friendship.  Which might not lead to the best advice. 

    I am firmly of the belief that stress is solved by dealing with the cause of it, not trying to deal with the effect.  If the cause can be removed, remove it, if it cannot, find a way to reduce the cause.  And modern life is full of causes of stress.  Life is run at a pace that is far to fast.  There are distractions to modern life, and everyone seems to be after one's money.  Meals may be rushed and there may not be enough nutrition in what we eat.  Stress is not simply 'in the mind' it causes real physical symptoms, which cause physical illnesses.  And when things get on top of us, it shows itself in any number of symptoms.   I do tend to avoid social occasions, I don't enjoy them at all and they only cause me stress and anxiety.  And people I know well understand this.

    These days I try not to rush around.  Not always possible, but I always allow far more time for getting places than I need.  And I take frequent breaks.  My body simply is not capable of rushing around anymore, rushing from place to place, or maintaining a fast pace.  I soon need a rest if I try.

    As regards nutrition, I am the last person to claim I have a balanced diet.  But lack of vitamins, can cause mood changes, lack of energy and motivation.  A little of what you fancy does you good but eating too much of the wrong thing causes a difficulty in keeping concentration and a feeling of bloating as well as other things to which I am prone such as IBS.

    I often think that getting air in my lungs is one of the best ways of ridding myself of stress.  A good walk in the hills or climbing up a tower for the view at my own pace is far more beneficial to me than any number of antidepressants,.  And coupled with my interest in photography and history, it can really help.  I am not one to blindly try to convince myself that everything in the world is good, such a thing to me is very false and is not true to myself.  But I try to balance my cynical views with the beauty I find, the curiosity I can have and the magnificence of things that inspire me. 

    I think that some obsessions we as autistic people can have may do us good, but some obsessions may need a bit of tempering.  But being enthusiastic over something is, in my opinion, something which will drive purpose as long as it causes no harm to other people.  Coupled to this is finding somewhere we can find peace.  This may be through faith that one has, or it may be through just admiring the scenery or being alone.  Whatever, something to clear the mind is very important to me.

     I used to have a pet cat who helped me through lots of difficlulties.  She was always there to offer comfort and never made judgement.  She just seemed to know when I needed her to talk to and she would sit on my lap purring making all my problems disappear.   

  • Hi Trainspotter. Thanks. Not self indulgent at all the way I personally see things. Again one to keep and refer to. 

    The huge frustration I sometimes feel can cause meltdown mode in me. Mostly miscommunications or misunderstandings. Nature helps a lot. The local park, a lovely hill near my home, and local cats and dogs, birdsong etc. 

    I also have a weighted blanket now, strict night rules so as to regulate my sleep and am not guzzling sugar any more. The next problem to overcome will be actually sticking with these new lifestyle changes long term without letting them become my latest passing obsession. Like a train, i need to keep on track. Not let myself be derailed. If I temporarily jump off track, then I need to use my mental emergency brake. The train isn’t broken, just jumped the tracks. 

    So these posts are genuinely helping me. Thank you. 

Reply
  • Hi Trainspotter. Thanks. Not self indulgent at all the way I personally see things. Again one to keep and refer to. 

    The huge frustration I sometimes feel can cause meltdown mode in me. Mostly miscommunications or misunderstandings. Nature helps a lot. The local park, a lovely hill near my home, and local cats and dogs, birdsong etc. 

    I also have a weighted blanket now, strict night rules so as to regulate my sleep and am not guzzling sugar any more. The next problem to overcome will be actually sticking with these new lifestyle changes long term without letting them become my latest passing obsession. Like a train, i need to keep on track. Not let myself be derailed. If I temporarily jump off track, then I need to use my mental emergency brake. The train isn’t broken, just jumped the tracks. 

    So these posts are genuinely helping me. Thank you. 

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