How anyone has constructively overcome their difficulties, due to autism or otherwise.

Very clear and concise. Just wanted to say thanks for the words.

Rip Van Wrinkle said:

Nothing negatively personal, nothing attacking, no self indulgence please

Please respect the wishes of the original post.

Open a new post for this, as has been said by PA.  You will then not move this into directions which it wasn't intended.  Thankyou.

Also consider again getting specialist professional help.  Seek help from your probation officer or psychiatrist  Perhaps a local autism charity if there is one near where  you live, or Mencap. If you can afford it, get help from a private psychiatrist.  Perhaps print out what you have written here and the answers you have received and show them. Contact the help line and ask if they can give you some numbers of specialists who may be able to help you, not forgetting talking to Samaritans as much as you can.  And try some very deep self analysis. Many of your problems which we have read about in a multitude of threads are way, way, out of our depth. 

DaveAsperg

I urge you to start a new thread on this topic in the forum as I fear your comments will be lost in this one.

Unfortunately suicide is a topic that crops up in this forum all too often and there's a strong awareness of how being a person with ASC in a (mostly) NT world puts people at higher risk.

There are some regular posters in this forum who have written about their own suicidal thoughts when in crisis and received the wise support of other community members in response. 

Please ask for what you need and check out the NAS helpline too for help.

S

Yes done all that and been prosecuted by police for doing aspie attempts to help

DaveAsperg

I feel really sad to see you write that.

There's a good and supportive community here with understanding of the impact of living in a non-autistic world and all that entails (depression & anxiety in particular).

If you are in a depressive phase, do you know what may have triggered it (if other than the stress of living in an NT world) ?

Are you receiving any help where you live from your GP or a talk therapist?

S

Just going through this thread provides many interesting options to try so why not give some a go?

Sounds ridiculous I know but I am not clear how to enjoy anything now. I feel my time has come

DaveAsperg

It's never too late to start!

I took a quick look at your profile bio and can see that you're a retired Doctor (AND triathlete). You've clearly put the gifts of autism to good use and served your community well and succeeded in your career.

From what I understand of the medical profession there's a perfectionist culture that makes it more difficult for those who work within it to ask for help. 

If you don't mind me asking, which areas of life do you still wish to explore ?

S

All these wonderful ideas which I have not done make me feel a failure who has missed opportunities. Too late now to sort out so suicidal will be my take 

This is also really helpful 

Rip Van Wrinkle said:

I feel the need to borrow a child who knows me well to justify bubbling in public!!!

No need to borrow a child!  Just release your inner childhood which is waiting to escape!  Journey to the land of Tir na Nog

Thank you for this post, RvW.

It has been very useful for me in so many ways.  It has helped understand how we can deal with somethings, realise some of the problems we have but it has in no way been a depressing thread.  Any problems stated has been in order to state a solution.

And I must say I enjoyed replying to the thread.  I enjoy language and have had an opportunity to say things in a manner that I like to express myself.  And I noticed that others also enjoyed this thread.

This to me is what the forum is all about.  Self analysis, useful information and enjoyment with nothing approaching self denial. And I hope others think the same way.

"Pleasures and pulchritude" - these words are a joy in themselves!

Looked the word up. Spot on!

I love bubbles too! I feel the need to borrow a child who knows me well to justify bubbling in public!!! I need to go and look up puchritude on google dictionary!!!

In the railway journey of life we explore many branch lines, not all of them scenic. But many times there are pleasures and pulchritude along the way to savour and enjoy.

I also enjoy the music of the day and the pleasure of beautiful music is an exquisite treasure. I play my recorder many times to ease my stress, I usually have it in my car for when I stop for a break but doors and windows remain firmly shut.  I have been known to give an impromptu concert, once at Raglan castle where I was amazed at the compliments I received.  I must be better than I thought! 

Bubbles are something else which eases my stress.  I have a bubble sword which lets me blow very large bubbles which I find immensely satisfying.

Such things are wasted by thinking they are only for children! 

Hi Trainspotter. Thanks. Not self indulgent at all the way I personally see things. Again one to keep and refer to. 

The huge frustration I sometimes feel can cause meltdown mode in me. Mostly miscommunications or misunderstandings. Nature helps a lot. The local park, a lovely hill near my home, and local cats and dogs, birdsong etc. 

I also have a weighted blanket now, strict night rules so as to regulate my sleep and am not guzzling sugar any more. The next problem to overcome will be actually sticking with these new lifestyle changes long term without letting them become my latest passing obsession. Like a train, i need to keep on track. Not let myself be derailed. If I temporarily jump off track, then I need to use my mental emergency brake. The train isn’t broken, just jumped the tracks. 

So these posts are genuinely helping me. Thank you. 

I hope this doesn't come across as self indulgence, it is just some random thoughts on how I cope which may be of interest even if not much use!

I find a lot of difficulties are caused by external circumstances which can cause frustration in being apparently unable to do anything about it.  While others are totally within our remit.  Everyone, autistic or not, can have difficulties and make mistakes.  It is part of being human.  How we deal with that is often different for an autistic person.

I am very prone to churning things over in my mind, losing sleep and getting stressed.  But I try to be self aware, to formulate a solution in my thought processes.  There is a saying that a problem shared is a problem halved, and this never applies more than for me and by extrapolation it may help other people.  I am fortunate to have a support worker with whom I can discuss my problems.  She is far enough removed from me to not be someone who will say something that she thinks I want to hear.  And I have enough faith in her understanding of my problems to accept her counsel, although often there is much discussion.  She is really a support worker to help me at work, but she is able to help in the wider realm as well.

A close friend may not be the best person to discuss problems with.  They may say what they think you want to hear for fear of losing friendship.  Which might not lead to the best advice. 

I am firmly of the belief that stress is solved by dealing with the cause of it, not trying to deal with the effect.  If the cause can be removed, remove it, if it cannot, find a way to reduce the cause.  And modern life is full of causes of stress.  Life is run at a pace that is far to fast.  There are distractions to modern life, and everyone seems to be after one's money.  Meals may be rushed and there may not be enough nutrition in what we eat.  Stress is not simply 'in the mind' it causes real physical symptoms, which cause physical illnesses.  And when things get on top of us, it shows itself in any number of symptoms.   I do tend to avoid social occasions, I don't enjoy them at all and they only cause me stress and anxiety.  And people I know well understand this.

These days I try not to rush around.  Not always possible, but I always allow far more time for getting places than I need.  And I take frequent breaks.  My body simply is not capable of rushing around anymore, rushing from place to place, or maintaining a fast pace.  I soon need a rest if I try.

As regards nutrition, I am the last person to claim I have a balanced diet.  But lack of vitamins, can cause mood changes, lack of energy and motivation.  A little of what you fancy does you good but eating too much of the wrong thing causes a difficulty in keeping concentration and a feeling of bloating as well as other things to which I am prone such as IBS.

I often think that getting air in my lungs is one of the best ways of ridding myself of stress.  A good walk in the hills or climbing up a tower for the view at my own pace is far more beneficial to me than any number of antidepressants,.  And coupled with my interest in photography and history, it can really help.  I am not one to blindly try to convince myself that everything in the world is good, such a thing to me is very false and is not true to myself.  But I try to balance my cynical views with the beauty I find, the curiosity I can have and the magnificence of things that inspire me. 

I think that some obsessions we as autistic people can have may do us good, but some obsessions may need a bit of tempering.  But being enthusiastic over something is, in my opinion, something which will drive purpose as long as it causes no harm to other people.  Coupled to this is finding somewhere we can find peace.  This may be through faith that one has, or it may be through just admiring the scenery or being alone.  Whatever, something to clear the mind is very important to me.

 I used to have a pet cat who helped me through lots of difficlulties.  She was always there to offer comfort and never made judgement.  She just seemed to know when I needed her to talk to and she would sit on my lap purring making all my problems disappear.   

I'm deliberately not watching/reading ANY news since we came back from holiday in February - it's so much less stressful.   I hear things now & then - Notre Dame etc - but I don't want the details as it will upset me.

The rest of the 'news' is really only publicity pieces selling/advertising/hyping things so I'm better off without it - much lower stress.

My only worry is failing a memory test in future if they ask me who the Home Secretary is. 

I have a problem with obsessive use of technology. I am banning even my phone from my bedside, which is my place to sleep at the same time each night. Result is lowed blood pressure.