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Sorry

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to come here to apologise profoundly for the things I said in a thread I started on Saturday evening.  Having berated another member for vile remarks that were made, I then resorted to the same.  I'm deeply ashamed.  I relapsed badly with the drink and drunk to black-out.  I don't even remember some of the final comments I made.  I wanted to go in and remove them, but the thread has been locked.  Just as well, really.  Let them stand as testament to the type of person I can become.

Or, rather, the type of person I am - in the wrong circumstances.  I can't blame the alcohol.  That was only the facilitator.  The tongue-loosener.  It wasn't the alcohol speaking.  It was me speaking.  The side of me that I don't like.  The side of me that I'm always battling with.  I'm hoping that my counselling can help me with that.  It's long overdue.  I have taken another vow of abstinence too, and will try to stick with it.  I want to give up before the booze gives me up.  I'm sixty in a couple of weeks.  I want it to be the 'new beginning' after 20 years of turbulence: a divorce, the loss of both parents, depressions.  Years in the wilderness.  It's do or die now.  So I'm going to make a go of it.

I think if anyone was going to 'burn their bridges', I couldn't have chosen a more explosive way to do it.  But it's done.  I will not be returning.  Perhaps leaving will in itself be a big part of moving forwards.

Looking around this morning, I can see that the fires are still smouldering on some threads.  I feel responsible for helping to create this chaos and internecine warfare.  Please, I ask you... try to leave it alone and move on from it.  Let things settle again.  This forum is a valuable resource and a lifeline for many people.  Don't scare them away before they've even started.

I apologise again - to everyone.  I wish you all well.  And I wish you peace.

Thank you for all the help you have given to me and the patience you have shown me over the years.

Tom

PS I tried to disable comments, but I can't.  Please don't comment.  I will ask the Moderators to lock the thread.

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