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Birthday Plans

Runnerbird

Hello, 

In a few months, I will be the big 3-0! 

People keep asking me what I am doing to mark the occasion but I feel like there is little point. When I was 16 I had a party and some friends and family turned up and for my 18th I had a party at a pub. They were both organised by my mum's then-boyfriend who is now the dad of my two siblings. 

If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have celebrated, and it's due to the past experiences that I am reluctant to celebrate in any way. No one really turned up for my 18th, and after that, I stopped celebrating birthdays because no one wanted to celebrate with me and they have just become another day in my life. 

Every birthday I've always said the next one would be different but they never are. 

My sister who is twelve said her dad would throw me a party again but I told her there'd be no point because nobody would turn up and the fact I have no friends to speak of makes me not want to bother too. 

How do you deal with birthdays? Do you like to celebrate? 

Parents

  • I understand. I tried parties when I was a teenager and had a house party when I was 40. I gave up on parties when I realised that what was actually going on in my head was that parties are where you get drunk and cop off with someone, and I ought to put that out of my mind as a married supposed adult.

    Eventually I got the message across to people that I don't like birthday cake and I abhor being sung to, & nowadays I usually do something low key like a meal out with my wife, a couple of days off work and maybe a nice bottle of whisky.

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    I don't like being sung to, either but it still happens even when I tell them to stop. 

    I am not in touch with most of my family as I was often subjected to name calling and other various factors. I am only in touch with a small few including my brother and sister and their dad and step mum. It has become a sort of tradition to go out for a meal with my husband but this year I'd like to do something different. I think it's a case of too much choice and being indecisive. I know I don't want a party. My sibling's dad often invites people who I don't feel comfortable around. They are often too loud and boisterous and that's OK, everyone has the right to keep company who they choose, it's just I don't enjoy jumping with every noise or feeling like I'm on edge. If he hadn't organised the two parties I wouldn't have had one. It has never been my interest. 

    I have been looking into Red Letter Days and they might be a possibility. Most events are some distance away (I am in the north east of England). 

Reply
  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    I don't like being sung to, either but it still happens even when I tell them to stop. 

    I am not in touch with most of my family as I was often subjected to name calling and other various factors. I am only in touch with a small few including my brother and sister and their dad and step mum. It has become a sort of tradition to go out for a meal with my husband but this year I'd like to do something different. I think it's a case of too much choice and being indecisive. I know I don't want a party. My sibling's dad often invites people who I don't feel comfortable around. They are often too loud and boisterous and that's OK, everyone has the right to keep company who they choose, it's just I don't enjoy jumping with every noise or feeling like I'm on edge. If he hadn't organised the two parties I wouldn't have had one. It has never been my interest. 

    I have been looking into Red Letter Days and they might be a possibility. Most events are some distance away (I am in the north east of England). 

Children
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