• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 7685 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Birthday Plans

Runnerbird

Hello, 

In a few months, I will be the big 3-0! 

People keep asking me what I am doing to mark the occasion but I feel like there is little point. When I was 16 I had a party and some friends and family turned up and for my 18th I had a party at a pub. They were both organised by my mum's then-boyfriend who is now the dad of my two siblings. 

If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't have celebrated, and it's due to the past experiences that I am reluctant to celebrate in any way. No one really turned up for my 18th, and after that, I stopped celebrating birthdays because no one wanted to celebrate with me and they have just become another day in my life. 

Every birthday I've always said the next one would be different but they never are. 

My sister who is twelve said her dad would throw me a party again but I told her there'd be no point because nobody would turn up and the fact I have no friends to speak of makes me not want to bother too. 

How do you deal with birthdays? Do you like to celebrate? 

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    I don't like being sung to, either but it still happens even when I tell them to stop. 

    I am not in touch with most of my family as I was often subjected to name calling and other various factors. I am only in touch with a small few including my brother and sister and their dad and step mum. It has become a sort of tradition to go out for a meal with my husband but this year I'd like to do something different. I think it's a case of too much choice and being indecisive. I know I don't want a party. My sibling's dad often invites people who I don't feel comfortable around. They are often too loud and boisterous and that's OK, everyone has the right to keep company who they choose, it's just I don't enjoy jumping with every noise or feeling like I'm on edge. If he hadn't organised the two parties I wouldn't have had one. It has never been my interest. 

    I have been looking into Red Letter Days and they might be a possibility. Most events are some distance away (I am in the north east of England). 

  • I understand. I tried parties when I was a teenager and had a house party when I was 40. I gave up on parties when I realised that what was actually going on in my head was that parties are where you get drunk and cop off with someone, and I ought to put that out of my mind as a married supposed adult.

    Eventually I got the message across to people that I don't like birthday cake and I abhor being sung to, & nowadays I usually do something low key like a meal out with my wife, a couple of days off work and maybe a nice bottle of whisky.

  • Dont put pressure on yourself! Youre nit the same person you were at 18. Youre an adult and if you dont want a party dont have one! Have a day out or go on a nice walk maybe instead.

    I always get a strange feeling on my birthday. Its the same feeling i get on new years eve. I dont know why or what it is. Just general unease. Also Ive always wondered why people throw their own birthday parties. Why do they think theyre so special!? Obviously its different if someone else organises it tho!

  • Have you considered a selfish day doing something amazing on your own or with just one other - like a Red Letter Day thing - maybe a flying lesson or experience of some kind?

    There alre lots of 'meet the animals' at most zoos, there's 'behind the scenes' things at lots of places if you ask nicely, a day at a theme park, a spa day etc.

    We happened to be in Disney for our daughter's 18th - She got a great big 'YEEHAAAH' from everyone and a cake in the Trail's End at Fort Wilderness.

    My Wife has been the one to open Harry Potter's Great Hall and she's fed Red Pandas in a wildlife park - there's a million things you can do to make the day special.

  • I've only had 2 birthday parties in my life, one when I was 11 and the other when I was 21, and people didn't particularly seem to want to come to either of them. I'm a lot older than you and not too bothered about birthdays now, but I still plan to do something I like on that day. When I was your age I liked to go out for a meal with my partner. Perhaps you could do that with a close friend/family? Or get a takeaway if you can't face a crowded restaurant?

  • Hi Runnerbird,

    Next month, I'm the big 60!

    My birthday falls on a weekend, so I'm telling the people who know it's my birthday that I'm taking off alone for a couple of days.  Those who don't know, I'm not telling!  I shall probably just stay in my flat, alone, have a few drinks and watch some good movies.

    My 30s were my best years - lots of growing, lots of fun.  I hope they're the same for you.

  • Why not just have a lovely meal out with your family? - The people who know you best and love you.

    Our daughter isn't a big party girl - she likes to go out with us as a family and maybe a couple of close friends to the restaurant of her choice.   This year's was the Italian in the village - very relaxed & civilised.