Self-Obsession???

A thought occurred to me when I was washing the dishes, a few minutes ago, or rather it was more of a question. I thought, I wonder if somebody can be so self-obsessed that they don’t even know it, even after they have been told they are, via a diagnosis of autism. Or are there really some autistic people who aren’t self-obsessed, and what would that look like?

Maybe this is the people who are on what is commonly referred to as the ‘mild’ end of the spectrum. But if so, what would bring that type of a person forward for an assessment in the first place or how would they have got picked up as kids? What types of difficulties or struggles do they have and what makes it autism and not something else, such as OCD or social anxiety or whatever? 

This whole conversation about self-obsession has really piqued my curiosity and obviously, as an autistic person, I don’t see other people’s points of view easily, unless it is spelled out to me in a way I can understand. So, I’m just wondering, is there a whole other level of autism that I am unaware of?

This is for curiosity as much as to see if it’s my autistic brain blindsiding me again, because I know I fall into the basic understanding of autism, meaning selfism, and obviously, being autistic, I assumed all other autistic people are that way as well. I know we are all sooooooooooo different, of course we are, we are human beings, all human beings are different, but I thought as autistic people, the one identifying factor, that we all share, is the thing the condition (for want of a better word) is named after, which is, of course, self-ism.

You can be sure you’re self-obsessed by certain outward signs. The signs the psychiatrists use to diagnosis and identify us. Such as difficulties in school, not making friends as easily as most of the other kids, maybe getting picked on, a history of many different jobs, generally well below a person’s capability, difficulties in personal relationships including difficulties sometimes with family members, not achieving full protentional, all those kinds of things. Which all stem from the self-obsession. But you can also be self-obsessed without those outward signs, I don’t think I had or have that many of them and I think there are many of us who don’t show the ‘typical’ types of outward signs.

I’m just wondering what none self-obsessed autistic people struggle with and why they aren’t diagnosed with that instead of autism? Or have I just missed the point all together, lol, (which wouldn’t be for the first time) and autism is something else altogether?

I also learned yesterday that some people, apparently, at least one person anyway, has a negative connotation attached to the words self-obsession and selfish. I was unaware that those words could have any negative connotations so for those who do have those negative connotations, I’m not using these words in a negative way, whatever that could be. If anybody has got better words to use instead, where people don’t have negative connotations then tell us what they are. Autism literally means, self-ism, so I fail to see how anything to do with the self can be negative, but of course, that’s just me Blush

Anyway, this is me, doing what I can to avoid doing my course work, lol, and now I’m going to avoid it some more and take my little self for a walk through the woods to rendezvous with the trees and nature for a couple of hours.

Hope you are all having a great day V tone4Heartpulse

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  • Selfish is not caring about others.

    Self-obsessed is different. It's being interested in one's happiness, motivations and interests to the exclusion of other things.

    In Autism if there is self-obsession it's involuntary in my opinion. The brain is wired differently. Autistic people can't make as much eye contact, small talk, conversation or handle crowds, fluid multi-person conversations, noises and physical sensations as well. These force Autistic people to be more oriented to the self than to the crowd. That doesn't equate to selfishness. Some Autistic people are selfish but that's a matter of personality. On the whole Autistic people are simply more introverted and need more time alone and more control over their environment. Since many non-Autistic people don't need the same amount of control over their environment they can mistake our needs for selfishness, or it may feel like selfishness to them; this is perhaps the most sad part about Autism, that others can feel insulted or annoyed by us when we have no intention to offend them.

    I like going for walks too.

  • Of course it’s involuntary. Autism isn’t a value judgement. They don’t pick out the people who they think are more selfish than most and say you’re autistic because you don’t seem to care as much about others. Most of us, at the higher end of the scale, barely know others exists, lol, let alone think about them. 

    Or, is it because the brains of autistic people are wired differently, making them more self obsessed which in turn, naturally, (as it logically would) cause difficulties in relationships etc? 

    I’m far from introverted, I think you can tell by my posts, and I’m not shy or quiet or afraid to speak my truth. But I am very much autistic in that my brain is very much wired towards the self. 

    But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about others. To me, I love a stranger at the other side of the world, that I’ve never met, just as much as I do my son, I love all people, dearly and equally, and I love them as much as I love myself, because to me, we’re all one. I would give my last penny away to help somebody and I’ve always been the same. I was always sticking up for kids at school and I still do. Only a coupe of weeks ago I was in the street, confronting a big gang of school kids who were all picking on one solitary girl. I can’t walk past things like that and not say anything. I get myself into very dangerous situations but I can’t see people getting hurt. 

    Why do autistic people need more time alone? 

    But autistic  people get insulted by other autistic people as well. People on here often choose to get insulted by what I say (instead of taking it for what it is, simply something I say!) and they try to force me to not be myself, to pretend I’m somebody else, to keep my mouth shut, to not act like I’m autistic - blunt and honest, and instead of seeing that I’M AUTISTIC  they instead, call me names (I’ve never done that to anybody on here), they tell me to get off the site (I’ve never done that to anybody), they tell me to stop being myself, aka autistic (I’ve never done that to anybody) and neither has an nt person done that to me, especially when they know I’m autistic. 

    Yeah, I love going for walks Blush

    Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate them and they’re helping this wild, obsessive autistic brain understand and process all this a little better. Thank you, I really do appreciate it Pray tone3

Reply
  • Of course it’s involuntary. Autism isn’t a value judgement. They don’t pick out the people who they think are more selfish than most and say you’re autistic because you don’t seem to care as much about others. Most of us, at the higher end of the scale, barely know others exists, lol, let alone think about them. 

    Or, is it because the brains of autistic people are wired differently, making them more self obsessed which in turn, naturally, (as it logically would) cause difficulties in relationships etc? 

    I’m far from introverted, I think you can tell by my posts, and I’m not shy or quiet or afraid to speak my truth. But I am very much autistic in that my brain is very much wired towards the self. 

    But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about others. To me, I love a stranger at the other side of the world, that I’ve never met, just as much as I do my son, I love all people, dearly and equally, and I love them as much as I love myself, because to me, we’re all one. I would give my last penny away to help somebody and I’ve always been the same. I was always sticking up for kids at school and I still do. Only a coupe of weeks ago I was in the street, confronting a big gang of school kids who were all picking on one solitary girl. I can’t walk past things like that and not say anything. I get myself into very dangerous situations but I can’t see people getting hurt. 

    Why do autistic people need more time alone? 

    But autistic  people get insulted by other autistic people as well. People on here often choose to get insulted by what I say (instead of taking it for what it is, simply something I say!) and they try to force me to not be myself, to pretend I’m somebody else, to keep my mouth shut, to not act like I’m autistic - blunt and honest, and instead of seeing that I’M AUTISTIC  they instead, call me names (I’ve never done that to anybody on here), they tell me to get off the site (I’ve never done that to anybody), they tell me to stop being myself, aka autistic (I’ve never done that to anybody) and neither has an nt person done that to me, especially when they know I’m autistic. 

    Yeah, I love going for walks Blush

    Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate them and they’re helping this wild, obsessive autistic brain understand and process all this a little better. Thank you, I really do appreciate it Pray tone3

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