loneliness

hi, I am new to this forum but just wondered if anyone else is in the same position as me. I am a 28 years old female. I am undiagnosed officially but had a non official assessment at my university and was told it is highly likely I have aspergers. I struggle to make and maintain friendships, more recently I have just given up completely trying to socialise or fit in. I am happily married but apart from my husband I don’t really see or speak to anyone else outside of work. I always seem to say the wrong thing and the fear of doing so has led me to stop trying to talk to people at all. I do work and just about manage with day to day small talk but I don’t make an effort to chat with people about anything unrelated to work. Recently I have been feeling very lonely and wish I had some friends to share things with, spend time with. I feel like I have no one I could turn to in a crisis except my family who all live far away. I see other people in coffee shops with their friends chatting and laughing and I just wish I could be like that. I have no idea where or how to meet friends any more. I used to be better when I was younger and especially at university where most social situations involved alcohol although I still made a lot of mistakes and faux pas which meant I never really had a lot of friends. I have had a lot of bad experiences with friends who have ended up cutting me out of their lives for one reason or another. I don’t think I am a nasty or bad person I just don’t know how to behave in social situations. The more I avoid it the worse I seem to get. Any advice or anyone in a similar position would be appreciated 

Parents
  • Have a look at Meetup.com for gentle social event in your locality.   You can choose what sort of thing you like the look of and it seems to work for us Aspies because you can choose how much you interact - there's no pressure to get involved - you can sit on the sidelines until you get comfortable. 

    As you owe them nothing, you can leave at any time or you can become more social at your own comfort levels.

    I attend lunches, coffee mornings, pub quizzes, trips to museums, meals out, pub evening - just have a look at what's going on locally to you.

    I'm fairly sure a number of the regulars at some of the local meets around here are Aspie too - they seem to fit in ok.

Reply
  • Have a look at Meetup.com for gentle social event in your locality.   You can choose what sort of thing you like the look of and it seems to work for us Aspies because you can choose how much you interact - there's no pressure to get involved - you can sit on the sidelines until you get comfortable. 

    As you owe them nothing, you can leave at any time or you can become more social at your own comfort levels.

    I attend lunches, coffee mornings, pub quizzes, trips to museums, meals out, pub evening - just have a look at what's going on locally to you.

    I'm fairly sure a number of the regulars at some of the local meets around here are Aspie too - they seem to fit in ok.

Children
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