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Hi Mazey,

My last meltdown was in my last place of work.  It was caused, I can see now, by a gradual build up of stress during that day with some difficulties with the special needs service users I was working with.  Underscoring this, though, was some anxiety I had about working around a particular colleague.  Then things were finally brought to a head with her later that day when she engineered a situation that wrong-footed me, giving her an excuse to have a go at me.  It was then like a switch going off in my head.  I knew what was coming, and you would think in that situation I could have prevented it.  But I couldn't.  I punched a wall.  That dispersed the anxiety.  But, of course, it got me into trouble.  It was the beginning of the end for me, and I went sick.  I returned after a couple of weeks, but by then the damage was done.  I left soon afterwards, because just being at work after that was causing me too much anxiety.  Just being in that state could easily have prompted another meltdown any time.

Generally, for me, it happens if some kind of underlying stress has something else added to it - like another stressful event spontaneously happening.  Supposing I'm trying to complete a task by a deadline, for instance, but then someone asks me to do something else... and then the phone rings.  Multiple demands on my time.  Or a quick build up of further anxiety when there's already some anxiety there.  It's like my mind shuts down because it can no longer cope with the inputs.  Like it's an already racing engine, but someone puts their foot on the accelerator suddenly and pushes it beyond its limits.  The meltdown usually lasts for a matter of seconds.  It may even be a split-second thing.  And then it's over.  It's usually something short and explosive.  A shout.  Or, at worst, hitting something.  I then simply need to get away from everyone and everything until I'm settled again.

Hi Mazey,

My last meltdown was in my last place of work.  It was caused, I can see now, by a gradual build up of stress during that day with some difficulties with the special needs service users I was working with.  Underscoring this, though, was some anxiety I had about working around a particular colleague.  Then things were finally brought to a head with her later that day when she engineered a situation that wrong-footed me, giving her an excuse to have a go at me.  It was then like a switch going off in my head.  I knew what was coming, and you would think in that situation I could have prevented it.  But I couldn't.  I punched a wall.  That dispersed the anxiety.  But, of course, it got me into trouble.  It was the beginning of the end for me, and I went sick.  I returned after a couple of weeks, but by then the damage was done.  I left soon afterwards, because just being at work after that was causing me too much anxiety.  Just being in that state could easily have prompted another meltdown any time.

Generally, for me, it happens if some kind of underlying stress has something else added to it - like another stressful event spontaneously happening.  Supposing I'm trying to complete a task by a deadline, for instance, but then someone asks me to do something else... and then the phone rings.  Multiple demands on my time.  Or a quick build up of further anxiety when there's already some anxiety there.  It's like my mind shuts down because it can no longer cope with the inputs.  Like it's an already racing engine, but someone puts their foot on the accelerator suddenly and pushes it beyond its limits.  The meltdown usually lasts for a matter of seconds.  It may even be a split-second thing.  And then it's over.  It's usually something short and explosive.  A shout.  Or, at worst, hitting something.  I then simply need to get away from everyone and everything until I'm settled again.

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