No one cares

I often have cared deeply about someone else only to realise they don’t give a monkeys about me or my feelings and efforts. *** happens, but that doesn’t make it easier to take. Flush it away with all the other poo and enjoy planning spending your winnings from today. I know it sounds silly, but things pass. Goodnight oh eight twelve. 

Yes I care about my mother even though she constantly insults me and treats me like dirt.

Heaven knows why I care about her.

I have fallen in love with women who treated me like crap, and again I don't know why, I just had some weakness in me that made me want them.

I'm sure you will have a jolly good like anyway Alice. Top of the evening to ya!

Thing is, we are human too. Some humans care about others, even ones they don’t know. Do you care about someone or a group of people? Or maybe the natural world? If I was a robot, would I actually know how enjoying birdsong feels? Feeling lonely, let down or abandoned is natural under certain circumstances. It’s horrible. But for me the birds still sing. I have to distract myself. Hope you feel less hopeless soon. 

I feel like I am a nobody. I will eat well, exercise, but I feel the human race doesn't care about me.

You know how sometimes people warn about how robots could take over the world?

I struggle to see why that would be a bad thing. As far as I can see human beings are pathetic, egotistical, short-sighted idiots and we have made more progress in the past decade or two after robots (computers) have become widespread than ever before.

It seems to me if robots took us over they would be more intelligent than us and thus probably would deserve their success.

How are you today? Sorry, not been around much lately. I think we all get crappy days. Hopefully with the Ocado delivery you’re at least feeling nourished. 

Nobody here has wronged me... but I feel quite sad that over all 32 years of my life, every single professional, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, support workers, has made judgements on me that are failing to see the big picture. They think they know me, they think they know me better than myself. I get a bad service then I get kicked out to the curb. It's kind of hard being alone.

Writing this here is entirely reasonable and understandable. I don't want to give you platitudes so I will just say that I hope that you can feel better soon & I hope and believe that others here will also be along to try to help. 

I hate myself for writing this here. I don't like being the bearer of bad news. I don't like being a burden on people. I hate myself. I hate being lonely. I wouldn't wish my life on anybody.

I don't know if I'm okay. I feel worse than usual at the moment. Tomorrow morning I will feel better than I do now. But maybe this feeling will come back as it often has. It's difficult to say. I feel very lonely. You can distract yourself for so long.

Oh that sucks. When the place you think you can go for support doesn't deliver. You're home now though, are you feeling over the panic attack? Are you otherwise OK?

I went out for a walk and had a big panic attack. I came home and called up two helplines and the people on them didn't understand why I feel so bad, so I felt as usual like I am all on my own.

That's what we're here for. What happened?