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Only finding eye contact intense with certain other people/situations, but not others?

Paroxysm

Hi, 

I am sort of new to all of this, as I've only recently been told that I'll be getting a diagnosis soon (although people have apparently thought I may have ASD all my life but have only just told me) 

But one thing I have noticed that I don't understand is that I find eye contact (or at least looking at someone's face) pretty okay with some people, such as my family or friends. Especially in casual conversations. 

I find it much harder with some other people (especially when I am speaking, I cannot think of what to say if I am looking at their face). Especially at school when I am trying to retain information.

And with some people (such as my new psychologist) even looking anywhere near his face is much too intense. I really like him, he just seems intense for seemingly no reason. One-to-one conversations are definitely hardest to try and look at people's faces. 

I tried to google about it but only articles about always finding eye contact intense came up :( it is silly but I invalidate myself a lot so I am just hoping that someone else has a similar experience.

I suppose looking at people's faces isn't the same as direct contact... though with some people I can actually lock eyes, but that is only like 3 or 4 people that I've ever met and I usually do it when I want to show that I love them (because eye contact is very emotional) and I can only retain it for maybe 1 or 2 seconds at a time. 

Has anyone had the same experience? 

Thank you. 

Parents

  • Yep absolutely. I can maintain shorts bursts of eye contact in casual conversation with my family, friends and my partner. If it's an emotionally intense or difficult conversation, then I often cannot even look them in the eye. (maybe why you can't with psychologist? you are feeling vulnerable?)

    Teachers, authority figures, bosses, strangers I all find it very hard to look at. If the situation requires it, I force myself to look at the bridge of their nose or their cheekbones, so they think I am making eye contact. I listen much much better when I can listen without looking, and the phrase "look at me when I'm talking to you" puts me pretty much on red alert, panic stations. I hate it

Reply

  • Yep absolutely. I can maintain shorts bursts of eye contact in casual conversation with my family, friends and my partner. If it's an emotionally intense or difficult conversation, then I often cannot even look them in the eye. (maybe why you can't with psychologist? you are feeling vulnerable?)

    Teachers, authority figures, bosses, strangers I all find it very hard to look at. If the situation requires it, I force myself to look at the bridge of their nose or their cheekbones, so they think I am making eye contact. I listen much much better when I can listen without looking, and the phrase "look at me when I'm talking to you" puts me pretty much on red alert, panic stations. I hate it

Children
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