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A false hypothesis? (Narcissism and ASD)

I'm done with Christmas Cards

This may be a stupid question but part of me wants to ask, probably hoping for a slew of replies confirming that it can't be true.

  • Can ASD cause someone to believe that someone else (typically NT) is narcissistic when they aren't?
  • Related, can narcissism itself cause someone to believe that someone else (typically NT) is narcissistic when they aren't?

I worry (unnecessarily, I hope) that stuff around my post about ASD Me and Narcissistic Mum is (partly) generated by my own personality / condition.

On the other hand I know that being on the receiving end of narcissism can make you doubt your own name & eye colour.

<sigh>

Parents

  • In some ways, I believe that ASC can make someone more sensitive to narcissistic traits in someone else - and also more susceptible to suffering from narcissistic abuse.

    I've had a problem with my sister-in-law from the very first time I met her, almost 40 years ago.  I wasn't diagnosed then, but was very much aware of my 'differences', and they had caused me some consternation.  I always felt odd in some way.  When I met her, I had an immediate sense that something wasn't good about her.  It was a gut instinct, if you like - and I've learned that my instincts about people have usually been right.  I may not be very good at reading people, but I always know when I ought to tread carefully.  So my instinct with her was proved right.  She has done a lot of damage in my family, alienating my brother from his children from his first marriage, and from me.  Her behaviour over the years, as I've now come to realise, is very typically narcissistic: setting up situations to wrong-foot me, passive-aggression, manipulation, etc.  I no longer have anything to do with her - which means, sadly, that I no longer have anything to do with my brother.  But he has been sucessfully Stockholmed by her.  He is no longer the person I grew up with.

    Similarly with a woman in my last job, whom I had suspicions about almost from the start.  What fooled me there was that she was very sympathetic towards me in the beginning, saying that she understood autism, and that she expected that I'd probably had a lot of bullying in life.  She seemed so genuine with her understanding that I was taken in.  But then it backfired on me with spectacular results - eventually leading to a breakdown, and my leaving the job on health grounds.

    In both cases, other people have also suffered from these abusers.

    I can't really offer any insights on the second part of your question.

    Check out some of the 'Related' threads listed on the right.  They might offer some useful information.

    Best wishes,

    Tom

Reply

  • In some ways, I believe that ASC can make someone more sensitive to narcissistic traits in someone else - and also more susceptible to suffering from narcissistic abuse.

    I've had a problem with my sister-in-law from the very first time I met her, almost 40 years ago.  I wasn't diagnosed then, but was very much aware of my 'differences', and they had caused me some consternation.  I always felt odd in some way.  When I met her, I had an immediate sense that something wasn't good about her.  It was a gut instinct, if you like - and I've learned that my instincts about people have usually been right.  I may not be very good at reading people, but I always know when I ought to tread carefully.  So my instinct with her was proved right.  She has done a lot of damage in my family, alienating my brother from his children from his first marriage, and from me.  Her behaviour over the years, as I've now come to realise, is very typically narcissistic: setting up situations to wrong-foot me, passive-aggression, manipulation, etc.  I no longer have anything to do with her - which means, sadly, that I no longer have anything to do with my brother.  But he has been sucessfully Stockholmed by her.  He is no longer the person I grew up with.

    Similarly with a woman in my last job, whom I had suspicions about almost from the start.  What fooled me there was that she was very sympathetic towards me in the beginning, saying that she understood autism, and that she expected that I'd probably had a lot of bullying in life.  She seemed so genuine with her understanding that I was taken in.  But then it backfired on me with spectacular results - eventually leading to a breakdown, and my leaving the job on health grounds.

    In both cases, other people have also suffered from these abusers.

    I can't really offer any insights on the second part of your question.

    Check out some of the 'Related' threads listed on the right.  They might offer some useful information.

    Best wishes,

    Tom

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