I have been bullied all my life and I am sick and tired of it. I never got anything. So I guess I should just hang myself right now?
I'll be alright. Sorry.
In the meantime here's a link from MIND with crisis information etc
Thanks for the links. Update: I told her I liked her (didn't really say much else, kept it simple) and she isn't wanting a relationship beyond what we have now. She seems happy to still be an acquaintance. She did start to well up and was crying or nearly when I told her. I don't know why.
Your advice probably saved me from being too intense and scaring her.
I feel gutted. She's the only person I know who I get the sense really likes me and enjoys talking to me. There's never any bull with her. No fake laughter, no forced friendliness, no awkward small talk.
I know one or two people who can get along with me, at intervals, but then there are awkward moments and tense times. So it is quite upsetting.
I'm sorry that she doesn't want a relationship that must be difficult. I don't know why she was nearly crying either. I'm glad that you toned down what you said to her, at least she is still happy to be your acquaintance, as opposed to freaking out and avoiding you. I know how hard it is when we have really intense feelings for someone and we can't be with them for whatever reason. It's horrible and has the potential to occupy far too much brain space for far too long! Maybe try to appreciate the acquaintance/friendship for what it is and concentrate on being a good friend/acquaintance?
I don't care anymore. Life stinks. There is no love, no hope, no glory. Only misery and boredom. Ha ha.
Aw listen, never give up hope of finding love! I’m sure you’ll find someone one day. Maybe go to a local AS social group and see if there’s anyone there. Let me explain my logic and share with you one of my latest reflections. That reflection is the realisation that I came to a few days ago that my husband will never be enough for me because he’s not autistic. I know that some ND/NT marriages appear to work well but personally, my marriage works, on a practical level and that’s about it. I stay because I like my life as it is, I value the security of my daughters and I’ve got enough cop on to realise that with both ASD and ABI I’m best off staying where I am and not rocking the boat. But we don’t connect mentally at all. We don’t ‘get’ each other. It doesn’t help that what led to me finally realising that I have ASD and getting diagnosed was that I got obscenely obsessed a few years back with an autistic guy that I used to go to school with (I didn’t do anything naughty and fought that with everything I have right from the start). But what I’m trying to explain is that I’ve had the experience of being able to completely synchronise my brain with someone else’s (the wonders of Facebook!) and once you realise the level on which you can connect mentally to another autistic person then why would you want anything else? Honestly I read stories about marriages where both people have ASD, how they’re both ridiculously obsessed with each other, how well they connect mentally, how they have their own make believe world at home that they exist in together, I get so jealous. How good does that sound? So yeah my honest advice to you straight from my heart is to find places near you where you can meet others with ASD and try an ND/ND relationship