Social groups in west midlands

Hello everyone,

Hope u are all well and life is treating you well.

I am thinking of joining a social group for adults with autism

Does anyone know any groups to join or recommend any in the west Midlands?

Kind regards

Becky 

Parents
  • Maybe try contacting these guys to see if they run or know of any support groups:

    www.autismwestmidlands.org.uk/

  • They do a few groups, mainly post-diagnosis, and about explaining things concerning understanding your condition, also helping family understand it too from my experience.

    They also do a thing called Aspire, which is very helpful for people trying to get into employment, arranging adjustments, or explaining your condition to employers, and other people who may not understand how your condition affects you.

    I'm not too familiar with the social group stuff. It's a great resource though. Met some good people there. It's an amazing service as far as my experience with them. They really helped me understand the sensory side of things. They have also helped me with my problems with mental heath services, and a few other issues.

    I'd say from my whole experience since diagnosis, AWM have helped me understand more than anyone, how my condition affects me. I'd have had a much harder time without the help of a few people there. The "NT's" there are good people, and so are the autistic people I've been in contact with.

    It's worth getting in touch with them post-diagnosis. It has all been a very positive experience for me.

  • That sounds like a very good review Slight smile

  • We can live in hope that maintenance will resolve the issues on this site!

    I feel like I'm being quite pro-active. It probably helps that I came out of hermit mode last summer and I'm now in 'social butterfly' mode, armed with my handbook on social skills courtesy of Daniel Wendler! But also with a desire to build friendships with other people with ASD regardless of what sub-type. I had a bit of a post-diagnosis wobble a couple of weeks ago but I'm mostly over that. One thing that I'm realising from talking with other people with ASD is that in some ways I'm lucky, this wasn't a good thing to happen but it's stood me in good stead for getting my ASD diagnosis, I've said quite a few times on here that I had an ABI 12 years ago on the 30th of March actually. So while many people who have recently been diagnosed with ASD are having to adjust to being Neurodiverse, to having a neurological disability, to having symptoms to manage and working out ways to manage them, or having to learn ways to look after yourself to ensure best possible brain function. I've already done all of that. Don't get me wrong, realising that I have ASD and fully realising how that affects me is still a big adjustment but maybe not quite as much as it is for some people. In some ways I feel like I've taken to it like a duck to water. I may of course have more wobbles in the future, but at the moment I'm feeling quite positive about things and embracing the whole Autism thing. I think the group that I'm getting up and running is having a therapeutic effect in many ways, It fulfils a need in me and in other people, it provides a much needed resource but at the same time it's giving me a reason to get out there and network with other ASD groups and build connections with other people with ASD.

    I think it's really therapeutic for all of us to chat with and share experiences with other people with ASD, especially when we're still reasonably newly diagnosed. I guess that we all have to go on our own Autism Journey and 'swapping notes' with others on a similar journey is part of that. The boy that you know sounds really insightful, do you ever find that you can sometimes struggle to make conversation with non-autistic people but with another autistic person it's so easy? I'm finding that a lot recently, I can just about manage a short ish reasonable conversation with most people but it's brain ache and I'm having to think about what I should say next/tone of voice/facial expressions/etc where as if my conversation partner is autistic then the conversation just seems to flow really easily. 

    I think our families play such a massive part in how we behave as adults. My dad never used to show his emotions but then he was a child of the 40's and men showing emotions wasn't really a thing then. My mum as I've said I'm sure also has Aspergers but there's more to it with her, I always found her very attention seeking, controlling, histrionic quite narcissistic actually and as I said, I've always tried not to be like her, I tend to fall more into line with how my dad was. I still remember when I was about 8, my mum had apparently heard somewhere that smashing plates was a good way to vent pent up emotion so she went into the kitchen and started throwing all the plates everywhere and shouting. It wasn't even like she'd lost her temper, she just decided to do it one evening. Which I found very odd, so did everyone else. It's funny how you mention that your grandad was one of the most balanced people you've ever met. My Grandma was like that, my dad's mum. She didn't talk much, probably because she was so deaf, but when she did say something it was grounded and based on common sense, I used to really value her advice, I spent a lot of time at my grandparents when I was growing up and was very upset when she died in 2012. I miss her calming influence.

    I think that I'm better than I used to be when it comes to weighing up whether applying that intense focus to something is beneficial or not. But as you say, once it kicks in it can be difficult and it seems that we don't choose when it kicks in! Have you ever had the situation where you've ended up perseverating about perseverating? This has happened to me, where I've been so determined so stop an obsession with something that stopping the original obsession has also become an obsession. So I've ended up with this horrible inner conflict where the original obsession and the obsession to stop it are equally as strong and it's like this constant push pull in my head, because I'm stuck on the original obsession but at the same time I'm also stuck on stopping that obsession. I don't know if I'm explaining it at all well or even making sense. But it's where the initial obsession is really strong but I've decided to apply that focus to stop it, but because the original obsession is so strong I'm not actually able to stop it despite maximum effort and neither can I stop the obsession to stop it because I've set my mind to that task and I've put too much effort into it to stop it and I won't let it beat me. Some kind of unique mental torture I'm sure! And yeah, probably not for any positive outcome!

    I'm not as much of a perfectionist as I used to be but I still can be, especially with certain things. If I've started a job then I like to see it through myself, not do half of it and then let someone else finish it. I think I may need to do some work on allowing other people to help me when they are willing as I would probably end up saving myself hassle and work and while they might not do it exactly how I would do it, they probably would do an ok job of it.

    I'm not spreading myself too thin with the group. I would have done when I was younger but I've got the sense now not to over do things, to rest if I need to rest and to leave something until the next day if I'm too tired. I'll update you on the group as I'm quite proud of what I've achieved in less than a month :-) I've got 3 other ladies to help me run the meet ups, one other with ASD and two non-ASD but with experience working with ASD (one OT and one support worker both friends of mine) I have been good and shared out responsibility for running the meet ups, we've got the activities for the first 4 meetings planned and we've organised one each (the main meet ups will be once a month, possibly with an in between one in a local coffee shop or similar) so in April we will be doing soap making; in May we're doing some sketching; in June we have a lady coming in to do a mindfulness and meditation workshop and in July we are going to be making Terrariums! I have the venue sorted, as I'm a Beaver Scout leader my Scout Group is letting me use the Scout Hut which is very kind of them. I've sorted out public liability insurance (I suddenly thought while buying the soap making ingredients - what if someone spills melted wax on themselves!) and I had a really informative conversation with a lady at HMRC the other day, she's emailed me a list of organisations that offer advice and support to people setting up social enterprises. I've made links with a couple of nearby ASD social groups, so we can share each others events, as the more signposting the better really. If there's just one group then that's one maybe two events a month for people to go to but if there's a few groups in reasonably close locality, all signposting to each other, then that is a lot more social events for people with ASD to go to. I need to make up a flyer tomorrow and get it distributed.

    I know what you mean about noticing more sensory stuff. I tend to say that I don't suffer too badly from auditory sensitivity but actually there's a reason why I have to go for a drive for an hour to level out after running beavers, an hour of kids screaming fries my brain! actually more than one sound at once tends to be bad for me. The other week I was at my friends and she was talking to me but then mine and her children came downstairs and were all screaming, while I was still trying to listen to what she was saying. I actually had to put my hands to my ears, I was like oh my days please stop! 

    I'm glad that you saw some friends and got out a bit more than you have been. I also need to buy some more shoes, or more precisely some more shoelaces. I have always had a thing about needing my shoelaces to be done up really tightly, I can't stand loosely done up shoes, but this means that I frequently break my shoe laces from pulling them too hard!

    Hope you have a good weekend!

Reply
  • We can live in hope that maintenance will resolve the issues on this site!

    I feel like I'm being quite pro-active. It probably helps that I came out of hermit mode last summer and I'm now in 'social butterfly' mode, armed with my handbook on social skills courtesy of Daniel Wendler! But also with a desire to build friendships with other people with ASD regardless of what sub-type. I had a bit of a post-diagnosis wobble a couple of weeks ago but I'm mostly over that. One thing that I'm realising from talking with other people with ASD is that in some ways I'm lucky, this wasn't a good thing to happen but it's stood me in good stead for getting my ASD diagnosis, I've said quite a few times on here that I had an ABI 12 years ago on the 30th of March actually. So while many people who have recently been diagnosed with ASD are having to adjust to being Neurodiverse, to having a neurological disability, to having symptoms to manage and working out ways to manage them, or having to learn ways to look after yourself to ensure best possible brain function. I've already done all of that. Don't get me wrong, realising that I have ASD and fully realising how that affects me is still a big adjustment but maybe not quite as much as it is for some people. In some ways I feel like I've taken to it like a duck to water. I may of course have more wobbles in the future, but at the moment I'm feeling quite positive about things and embracing the whole Autism thing. I think the group that I'm getting up and running is having a therapeutic effect in many ways, It fulfils a need in me and in other people, it provides a much needed resource but at the same time it's giving me a reason to get out there and network with other ASD groups and build connections with other people with ASD.

    I think it's really therapeutic for all of us to chat with and share experiences with other people with ASD, especially when we're still reasonably newly diagnosed. I guess that we all have to go on our own Autism Journey and 'swapping notes' with others on a similar journey is part of that. The boy that you know sounds really insightful, do you ever find that you can sometimes struggle to make conversation with non-autistic people but with another autistic person it's so easy? I'm finding that a lot recently, I can just about manage a short ish reasonable conversation with most people but it's brain ache and I'm having to think about what I should say next/tone of voice/facial expressions/etc where as if my conversation partner is autistic then the conversation just seems to flow really easily. 

    I think our families play such a massive part in how we behave as adults. My dad never used to show his emotions but then he was a child of the 40's and men showing emotions wasn't really a thing then. My mum as I've said I'm sure also has Aspergers but there's more to it with her, I always found her very attention seeking, controlling, histrionic quite narcissistic actually and as I said, I've always tried not to be like her, I tend to fall more into line with how my dad was. I still remember when I was about 8, my mum had apparently heard somewhere that smashing plates was a good way to vent pent up emotion so she went into the kitchen and started throwing all the plates everywhere and shouting. It wasn't even like she'd lost her temper, she just decided to do it one evening. Which I found very odd, so did everyone else. It's funny how you mention that your grandad was one of the most balanced people you've ever met. My Grandma was like that, my dad's mum. She didn't talk much, probably because she was so deaf, but when she did say something it was grounded and based on common sense, I used to really value her advice, I spent a lot of time at my grandparents when I was growing up and was very upset when she died in 2012. I miss her calming influence.

    I think that I'm better than I used to be when it comes to weighing up whether applying that intense focus to something is beneficial or not. But as you say, once it kicks in it can be difficult and it seems that we don't choose when it kicks in! Have you ever had the situation where you've ended up perseverating about perseverating? This has happened to me, where I've been so determined so stop an obsession with something that stopping the original obsession has also become an obsession. So I've ended up with this horrible inner conflict where the original obsession and the obsession to stop it are equally as strong and it's like this constant push pull in my head, because I'm stuck on the original obsession but at the same time I'm also stuck on stopping that obsession. I don't know if I'm explaining it at all well or even making sense. But it's where the initial obsession is really strong but I've decided to apply that focus to stop it, but because the original obsession is so strong I'm not actually able to stop it despite maximum effort and neither can I stop the obsession to stop it because I've set my mind to that task and I've put too much effort into it to stop it and I won't let it beat me. Some kind of unique mental torture I'm sure! And yeah, probably not for any positive outcome!

    I'm not as much of a perfectionist as I used to be but I still can be, especially with certain things. If I've started a job then I like to see it through myself, not do half of it and then let someone else finish it. I think I may need to do some work on allowing other people to help me when they are willing as I would probably end up saving myself hassle and work and while they might not do it exactly how I would do it, they probably would do an ok job of it.

    I'm not spreading myself too thin with the group. I would have done when I was younger but I've got the sense now not to over do things, to rest if I need to rest and to leave something until the next day if I'm too tired. I'll update you on the group as I'm quite proud of what I've achieved in less than a month :-) I've got 3 other ladies to help me run the meet ups, one other with ASD and two non-ASD but with experience working with ASD (one OT and one support worker both friends of mine) I have been good and shared out responsibility for running the meet ups, we've got the activities for the first 4 meetings planned and we've organised one each (the main meet ups will be once a month, possibly with an in between one in a local coffee shop or similar) so in April we will be doing soap making; in May we're doing some sketching; in June we have a lady coming in to do a mindfulness and meditation workshop and in July we are going to be making Terrariums! I have the venue sorted, as I'm a Beaver Scout leader my Scout Group is letting me use the Scout Hut which is very kind of them. I've sorted out public liability insurance (I suddenly thought while buying the soap making ingredients - what if someone spills melted wax on themselves!) and I had a really informative conversation with a lady at HMRC the other day, she's emailed me a list of organisations that offer advice and support to people setting up social enterprises. I've made links with a couple of nearby ASD social groups, so we can share each others events, as the more signposting the better really. If there's just one group then that's one maybe two events a month for people to go to but if there's a few groups in reasonably close locality, all signposting to each other, then that is a lot more social events for people with ASD to go to. I need to make up a flyer tomorrow and get it distributed.

    I know what you mean about noticing more sensory stuff. I tend to say that I don't suffer too badly from auditory sensitivity but actually there's a reason why I have to go for a drive for an hour to level out after running beavers, an hour of kids screaming fries my brain! actually more than one sound at once tends to be bad for me. The other week I was at my friends and she was talking to me but then mine and her children came downstairs and were all screaming, while I was still trying to listen to what she was saying. I actually had to put my hands to my ears, I was like oh my days please stop! 

    I'm glad that you saw some friends and got out a bit more than you have been. I also need to buy some more shoes, or more precisely some more shoelaces. I have always had a thing about needing my shoelaces to be done up really tightly, I can't stand loosely done up shoes, but this means that I frequently break my shoe laces from pulling them too hard!

    Hope you have a good weekend!

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